how do I break it off?

[FLO7]

Despite being told by various people I have a controlling partner, I still think is it really that bad? I have a nice home, a good job etc etc people have it a lot worse than I do.
This is how one side of my brain is thinking…the other is saying,
Just end it, your lucky you have places to stay and people around you to support and help. You haven’t been happy for years, you have tried and tried nothing is going to change so do u wat to spend the rest of your life just existing? putting on a brave a brave face, being told how to spend your time, money, energy. who u cab talk to, when you can talk to them?? this is normal so stop thinking it is.

But how do I tell them? how do I find the words to actually say its over? have I got the energy for possible confrontation? will I be ground down again? will they make it so painful I will regret just not staying put 🙁
I feel like such a coward!

[StrongLife]

Just walk away.

That’s all I did. I did not tell him. He found no one in house. Please be careful and seek support and counselling.

Your comment on how can you put up with this for rest of life is what is was thinking at time.

They do not change regardless of how long you wait and it will only escalate out of control

[Camel]

A nice home and a good job are the only positive things you mention. You don’t say anything positive whatsoever about your partner. If you leave you’ll still have the good job and in time you’ll have another nice home. Your partner actually doesn’t want anything to change so don’t waste any more of your precious time trying.

You shouldn’t discuss breaking up with an abuser. Make a safe exit plan. You’re fortunate to have supportive friends and you should lean on them now. Plan where you’re going and when and what’s important to take with you. Don’t plan on going back for anything.

Afterward you could send a goodbye email but resist listing all the things that made you unhappy. That’s just more of your time wasted. Then block all contact.

[Author]

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