5th October 2021 at 8:46 pm #132225SurvivingandstrugglingParticipant
Hi, I’m new to this forum and it’s crazy to see how many people have been through similar situations to me. It makes me feel less alone.
I’ve recently reported my ex boyfriend to the police for sexually abusing me, also physically and mentally.
We’ve been split up for (detail removed by moderator) now and it’s took me this long to pluck up the courage to report the sexual abuse to the police along with the truth about the physical abuse and mental, I was with him for (detail removed by moderator), I was young and stupid, I never believed anyone else could love me when I was with him, which was his doing.
The reason why I reported him is because (detail removed by moderator) and is now trying to contact me, I’m scared and I can’t go out the house alone. My current partner is supportive however I’m not coping very well so I’m scared of losing him and I’m even questioning if he really loves me, he must think I’m crazy. I’m crying every day and self harming which I only started doing whilst with my ex, I feel like I’m reliving everything all over again after having to make a statement to the police (detail removed by moderator) before I can even feel safe.
I’m on a waiting list for counselling with(detail removed by moderator) and I’ve got support from my mum but I just feel like no one understands and I can’t help but feel like I’ve done the wrong thing reporting him.
I couldn’t do it when we split up, I’ve had counselling since but he always shows up somehow or manages to contact me and now he’s back in my area I’m constantly on edge, I won’t even walk my dogs alone (detail removed by moderator) who would protect me all day, however still don’t feel safe.
Has anyone else reported their ex for a sexually abusing them (the worst kind) only it’s years after it happened? I feel like i won’t be taken seriously and I’m afraid for my life.
Thanks! I know i might be rambling but I really do feel like im losing it and I don’t want him to win!
6th October 2021 at 3:49 am #132228DobedoParticipant
Hi my love.
First off, by even having the strength to report him you have done an amazing thing. It takes a lot of bravery to report abusers, and you should enormously proud of yourself.
Its not uncommon for you to have feelings of guilt, even though you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You’ve lived with this for years, in many ways finally reporting is making you see it from a new angle, people other than yourself and those closest to you now know about it and its going to be strange and unfamiliar territory.
You had every right and reason to report him. You’re a fighter and you’ve done the right thing, don’t let anyone, including yourself, try and convince you otherwise. Nobody has the right to abuse you, there isn’t a situation that could ever exist that would make that ok. No matter whatever slant he ever put on it; what he did was disgusting and wrong, and he needed to be reported for it.
Giving a statement to the police can be quite frightening, try to have a good nights sleep before hand and make sure someone is with you afterwards. Just a bit of a warning, when giving a statement about sexual abuse, police need you to be quite precise about what has happened. Its dreadful, I know, but please know that the specialist police officers you will be speaking to deal with this all the time and they will always take sexual abuse very seriously, even if happened 30+ years ago they would take it seriously.
I reported my ex after (detail removed by moderator), similar situation. The interviews were not easy but in the long-term I think it helped to finally get this horrible stuff I had been carrying around for so long off my chest.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. Its definitely a good idea to get a counsellor on board as soon as possible. Keep posting on the forums and stay strong.
Sending you love and strength xx
6th October 2021 at 8:05 am #132229SurvivingandstrugglingParticipant
Thank you so much for replying Dobedo, It means a lot to read your kind words and definitely makes me feel more reassuring about the process I’m going through!
I’m hoping the counselling doesn’t take too long and as they specialise in sexual abuse I can see it helping me a lot more than just counselling for just depression.
I’m glad reporting you’re ex made you feel better in the long run! I hope it does for me (detail removed by moderator).
Thank you again 💜 x*x
18th October 2021 at 6:24 pm #132641brokenheartedgirl1234Participant
hi i reported my ex and during the whole process i was distressed but think about it.
these men hurt us in the worst ways its really heartbreaking they wouldnt do this to normal people on the road so why us? when they are asupposwed to love us! see that what he did is wrong!
i am so proud of you for reporting this!
please be strong you got this and we are all here with you
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