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I want out of my relationship i know im in abusive one he is the perfect boyfriend when soberthen every 2 /3 week he goes on the drink anddrugs and ruins everything he blames the drink but yet he still decides that its ok to drink again, ive been hit spat on mentally tortured, anytime i think i can finally get away from him he ends up hospital broken jaw (detail removed by moderator) stabbed arrested by the police you name it he has done he guilts trips me into taking him back, he even goes as far as saying he is gonna kill himself i ly awake at the night thinking sonething bad is gonna happen to him if i leave, i use to be so strong and happy never met a man like him in my life, i love him so much but i cant live my life like this, i split with him before for (detail removed by moderator) months got back with him and (detail removed by moderator) he was different i was happy i honestly thought he had change well he went on the drink i kept my cool then he ended up in a hotel i didnt want him in my home he implied he was gonna do something stupid so i panick went to get him lying face down on the floor completely out of it, i lifted hhis phone and found over 100 msg from girl naked pics it was disgusting, before i left i told him not to come back off course he turned up at my door saying he was sorry he loves me and needs me he will never drink again but yet he wont get helphe has no were to go his family friends doesnt want anything to do with him im stuck with him i need help i do really love him but i want help, he has done so much to me i cant tell the ppl i care cause im so embarrassed, im not a drinker i have a great support system but i cant seem to move on with my life my head is wrecked
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If you’re not strong enough to keep him out of your life contact WA. Check out trauma bonding, that’s what’s maybe keeping you tied to him more than love. He’s playing the cycle of abuse, and while in the FOG of abuse, it’s very difficult to see through or past it. Well done in posting on here, it’s really early hard admitting to ourselves that we’re in an abusive relationship so take credit fir seeing it. These men will promise the world when they realise their hold on you is lessening, do not believe anything he says. My oh also threatened suicide after I left him, hea yet to do anything. If your partner tries that again call an ambulance, you’ll either get him the help he needs or professionals will see right through uim and it’ll be part if a paperctrail against him. He is a grown man, he is not your responsibility. Everything he says and does are his choices. Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft explains why these men behave like this. We can’t fix them, just like we aren’t responsible for anyone else’s behaviour and choices they make.
Keep posting and reading others posts, knowledge is power.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞 -
So (detail removed) was the worst night of my life he came to workplace was removed twice i had to leaveto get him away i was so embarrassed well it was the worst decision i made as soon i was home he turned on me he kicked punch stamp on my neck tthen tried to strangle me infront of my child screaming im gonna kill you my child escape and called the police he has been arrested up in court (detail removed) but very good chance he wil be let out on bail, i cant believe i have let this happen to me im devasted the person i love has done this to me
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Hetty’s right. Please keep him out of your life. Call Women’s Aid. My ex is a violebt alcoholic and blamed everything on the drink and everyone else. They don’t change and you and your child deserve more.
After many arrests, I eventually made a statement to the police and he got convicted. It was the best thing I ever did, otherwise he’d still be here. Not sure if I would though.
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Good morning Mush, How are you doing this morning? What happened sounds terrifying, it is no wonder you are so distressed. Particularly as this was front of your child.
You can contact a Support Worker from Women’s Aid via our live chat where you can chat in confidence about your situation. Support workers will not tell you what to do but they can give support, practical information, and discuss with you any options that are available based on your specific circumstances. For more information about the chat service please go to: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/
You can find the details for your local domestic abuse service here
Best wishes
Lisa
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Ive an appointment today yo get a none molestation order ive had to take a week of work ive had social services at my door and the police have been really good so far, my daughter is so scared i feel so guilty that was the fist time he got violent infront of my child and will be the last im absolutley devastated how could he do this to me when all ive done is try to help him i will being contacting my local women aid because i really dont know how im gonna get through this
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Hi mush just want to send some love and support. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal as has your little one. Sadly this is your means of getting out of your relationship. Take all the help you can get, reach out and keep reaching out.
Keep posting, and give the little one lots of love and affection.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞 -
Thank u all so much, he is still in prison cant get a bail address, it feel very so real i feel num womens aid have been in contact with me tomhelp me through this, im am back to work which is helping even though i struggle to drag myself out of bed in the morning, i do feel depressed butim fighting it, took my daughter out to do dome xmas shopping cinema tomorrow doesnt sound like much but its the first ive been over the door, ive been having nightmares of him but last night was wierd its me dreaming im the aggressive one lashing out being violent towards my mum, now i had an argument with my mum that day she was feeling neglected by me cause i havent really seen her but we talked it through that day then i came home and dreamt about her i woke up shocked, im not a violent person my head is totally melted with it
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Contact your GP and ask for counselling for the trauma you’ve been through. Don’t underestimate the mental damage he’s done. It can overwhelm you with flashbacks, nightmares, lack of sleep, knotted stomach (you need to force yourself to eat and drink). Your emotions will be all over the place as your brain tries to work through the trauma. Many of us are left with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’m glad he’s in prison as it gives you a chance to heal. Hopefully he will have bail conditions when he’s released. You need to get your child some specialist counselling too so that this episode doesn’t affect her. We retain trauma and it’s bad for us so we need to process it, especially children x
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