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    • #17101
      Missnobody
      Participant

      I’ve been reading some of the posts and they ate so familiar to me at the moment.
      I just dont know how to actually take the step and go, leave him, get out.
      I also go back and forth on whether im just being silly and this is normal stuff couples go through.
      I then have guilt…guilt over if he’ll be ok if i go as i don’t think he’ll afford the house himself.
      Then i feel bitter…why do i have to be the one to uproot my two girls and fork out for a new place? He should be the one to go…but ge wont!! I know him.
      I’ve considered telling him but he’ll get emotional and make me feel sorry for him i think.
      Im so unhappy, but also still care about him…im so confused

    • #17150
      Confused123
      Participant

      speak to womens aid and make a plan, once u speak to them u will feel stronger, if u think about them u end up wasting your life and your kids get damagedd mentally/emotionally, this is why u need to go soonererather than later

    • #18145
      mummysgirl
      Participant

      I want to leave my husband he’s been emotionally abusing me for years. We have 2 children who are now noticing the way he treats me my youngest (detail removed by moderator) gets scared and won’t leave my side for days afters she’s heard him shout at me the names he calls me should never be said in front of a child they are disgusting and humiliating. He threatens to lock the door if I go out …but I’m wracked with guilt that if I leave he’ll end up homeless and have no one as he doesn’t talk to his family he has no friends he says he doesn’t want to live or that he’ll go after certain members of my family this is is in the same breath that he’s telling me to leave cause he hates me. He says I lie and when I ask about what he says stuff like you said you’d have sex with me and then you didn’t he brings up stuff I did when I was in my teens going out with my friends stuff I did before we even met calls me a s**t w***e and lots more. Sorry I’ve rambled on a bit I wish I could get over the feeling sorry and pitying him cause that is the only reason I’m still hear. I’m putting him before me and my children and he doesn’t seem to see that.

    • #18149
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi and hugs

      Being abused makes to so hard to make decisions, I was like a rabbit caught in the head lights not knowing what way to turn, so I did nothing.

      luckily there is this site that lets you know your not on your own and that gives you strength. Speak to womans aid, they aren’t going to tell you what to do but they will give you options.

      He doesn’t think anything of your feelings and though its hard because we females are nurturers you must think about your children and yourself.

      Good luck what ever you may do.

      FS xx

    • #18179
      mummysgirl
      Participant

      Thanks for the kind words ….I’ve come back on just now cause I’m starting to really weakening today he’s mopping about with this sad lost look and I feel sorry for him he has no one through his own nasty behaviour.. please someone remind me how much better off me and my girls will be away from him…..I’m wracked with guilt that I’m planning to leave but Ii know it’s for the best this is what he does.now he’ll turn it round on me saying I’m uncaring and that’s it’s my fault for him being so angry all the time…just looking for some words if advice..Sorry rambling again!!!

    • #18477
      livingonaprayer
      Participant

      I’m in exactly the same position. The daily guilt trips are so hard to deal with. I madde the decision to end u’d relationship but I still live with him. The ‘talks’ are so draining. So I totally understand where you are coming from. I give in so many times to keep the.peace. Try and talk to friends as often as you can or family. Having that support will make you stronger. I donv don’t feel strong all the time but withssupport from here we can help each other! Phone women’s aid get some advice.SSending u hugs

      • #20922
        Doobi
        Participant

        Thank you. I so like the reply by Anonymous why to leave. It hit home to me – as does this whole chain.

    • #18940
      mummysgirl
      Participant

      Ive left him!!! I’ve come to my mums although it’s only 1 night I’ve been to woman’s aid who have been great they actually made me realise the full impact his abuse was having on me and my children. I just picked the girls up from school and never went home. He has messaged me non stop threatening me with things like if I don’t reply he’ll burn all my photos starting with one I have if my girls which he knows is my favourite he’s sent me a picture message of my little ornaments that mean a lot to me all smashed up …I keep telling myself these are only things and me and my girls are safe. But he really knows which buttons to push. I dread to think what the rest of the weekend brings. I’ve been offered refuse I’m a little apprehensive but I think I’m going to go. The pity and sympathy I had for him is slipping away gradually and all I feel is hurt anger and betrayal that he has made mine and my girls lives so miserable for so long. Thank you for reminding me what I’ll gain with my girls by getting out and staying out x

    • #19764
      Highfive
      Participant

      Hi ya, hope the weekend went ok and that you and your girls are safe and happy!
      You are very brave! Keep strong and keep teading the previous message about what life is like after this x*x

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