How do I handle this?

[Starmoon]

We’ve only just started having direct contact again over the last few months. It’s obviously only for contact in regards to the children, but he’s super nice over everything which is completely different to how he’s been since we split (detail removed by moderator) years ago. He wasn’t interested in anymore than the minimum contact with the kids, and refused to discus anything with me or talk about the children and what was best for them. Now he’s being so army and keeps saying he will follow what ever advice I suggest, that he wants us to get along for the kids, he’s sent emails telling me how much of a brilliant mum I am. He’s moved into a new house and is decorating the spare room so they can finally sleep over. He’s said he wants to take them on holiday and do more things with them… this should be a good thing but it worries me. He’s told my eldest that he’s ‘dumped’ his girlfriend (I suspected the turn around may be because they split up) because she works too much and he wants a wife that will be at home more with him and the children… I mean this comes from a man who’s only been seeing his kids for a hand full of hours a week, yet now he wants a house wife to be home with them. They’ve already got a mum! It just seems like such an odd reason to dump someone, especially since he’s not the sort of person to let anyone tell him what to do. They were together for a long time (before we ever split up from what I can gather). I worry he’s working his way further into the kids lives so he can eventually take over. I know it probably sounds petty but until recently he hardly bothered with them at all.

[KIP.]

Worming his way back in until something better comes along. Stick to the agreed contact. He will mess with your head again. Sounds like he already is. Absolutely zero contact is the only way to recover. You will always be vulnerable to your abuser so don’t let him hurt you again.

[Author]

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