How do I leave ?

[LozzyX]

Its another rug pulled from under me moment, another anxious night unable to sleep.

I really want to leave him now, it’s having a huge impact on me both mentally and now physically too.

He isn’t violent but so manipulative and unstable with himself … So it’s hard to try and stand firm and leave . But I’m feeling so sick
We joint own the house. I could move in with a relative but I tried that before and that also left me with sheet anxiety as he wrecked the house and the uphill.struggle of trying to keep on on top of the maintenance of the place whilst he was undoing all my efforts was just a constant battle and is perhaps the main factor stopping me from moving out. At same time I can’t bear being in the house with him

I really don’t know what to do. Also this time when I leave I don’t want to cave in and take him back. This is so hard, and exhausting..it’s like on a whole new level of exhausting I feel really unwell and run down. The old me has totally disappeared now.. I really don’t know what help or advice any one can give? I feel totally stuck.

[nbumblebee]

Id say reach out. Womans aid can help you maybe fom a plan so you can leave safely, get a solicitor on board to help with the house, maybe talk to the relative you mentioned tell them whats really going on. You are gonna need some help some support to leave sounds like you are ready sweetie so one laat hurdle i guess reach ojt grab a supportive hand and then stwp towards that freedom. X

[Rosemary]

Hello lozzy it’s not easy to move away from him so I understand your feelings but my advice would be you move as soon as you can because he will never change women aid and refuge can help you get thought this as they have helped me so much I was scared to run away from my kids dad but in the end I had to do it to make sure me and my children are safe abuse men will make you stay with them and make out they have done nothing wrong please look after your self your health is very important to you can get away safely women aid will help you and advice you what you should do . I wish you all the best and I prey things go well for you please don’t put up with what his doing because it’s not okay you should not have to put up with his behaviour.

[LozzyX]

Thanks both I know I’m trauma bonded but slowly even that isn’t working on me. Now that I’m nearly at my rock bottome , a shadow of myself , going through other most challenging times in my life (parent in final months) , now he says it’s him leaving me!! This devastated me initially… And then I remembered the pattern and why he is saying this ..it’s his way if once again not dealing with what he has done wrong. Of course he is now pointing out my faults – I didn’t pay him enough attention , never initiate sex etc etc… Why the hell would I when he has ignored my own needs for years and been wrapped up in cocaine and constant stress of his own making ?!

I know he may twist the knife in further for me yet….as soon as I regain any confidence or hope over this new freedom I am sure he will drag me back down again . I’m so tired…I think right now I just need a sleep , one night uninterrupted and hopefully see things more clearly , including the positives of him leaving me , tomorrow.

[LozzyX]

Well it’s a fresh day… Out with family today and looking forward to it , I’ve told them the basics of the situation and I feel.so relieved. I think that’s one of the hardest steps is admitting to others , especially those who really like him and think he’s great! But at least they knownnow that yes , I might need some support and it also means me facing up to reality

[nbumblebee]

Wow this is huge and so so brave of you. A massive well done sweetie you are on your way keep moving foward. Xxxxx

[Hereforhelp]

Well done for reaching out and telling some family members… that’s so good you are reaching out and have support ❤️

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