How do I leave….

[callmeducky]

My husband has never been physically abusive but definitely has emotionally abused me, and psychologically. From our wedding day, when there was no “I’m so happy I married you” or even I love you, I should have known. During the honeymoon he didn’t want people to know we had got married and ignored me most of the time. Now we have two kids together, and my daughter (from a previous abusive relationship). So I feel so stupid for not seeing the signs from the minute I met him. He hardly talks to me and only when it suits him. It’s like I’ve been living in a vacuum and he has sucked the life out of me. But I stay because he is a good dad to his kids and I don’t want to destroy their world.they adore him. But right now I hate him and want to get out but don’t know how. He threatened me before with social services if I was to leave because I self medicated with cannabis once, trying to relieve awful depression, which I now think he caused….

[Relieved]

Hi Callmeducky, well done for posting. My ex was emotionally and psychologically abusive. Call your local domestic abuse service. They will really support you to help you make the decision to go. Find them here https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

Also you can call Rights Of Women http://rightsofwomen.org.uk/contact-us/ for any worries about your rights etc

All the best and keep posting xx

[Lisa]

Hi callmeducky,

Welcome to the forum. I am pleased that you have found the forum and have already had some good support. Your situation sounds really unhappy and stressful and I want you to know that none of his behavior is your fault. You deserve so much to be happy and respected. Please do phone the helpline for some advice and support on your situation, they won’t tell you what to do but they can help you to consider your options. I note that you mention that your husband is a good father but actually Women’s Aid is keen to stress that actually a good father would be wanting to teach their children about being respectful and kind in their relationships and he is not treating you in this way.

We are all here for you. Please keep posting to let us know how you are.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Grateful]

Maybe you could try your local CAB. Mine helped me fill out an application form for housing. I was accepted and can now bid for a council house. I also enrolled on a Freedom programme run by a local abuse agency which gave me support from the other participants and gave me the courage to leave. Try each day to get closer to the door and eventually you will walk through it without a backward glance… when you’re ready to go, you will.

[Author]

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