How do I make him leave?

[StationEleven]

Hi, I am new here. Have been in a relationship with my abuser for a long time now. My abuse rarely gets physical, it is emotional and verbal violence. Sometimes I feel like he is torturing me. He says most awful things when angry, gets under my skin. He could be very inventive of how to make me feel the lowest. He’s always been very controlling and made me believe that his jealousy is sign of his mad love for me. Little by little I lost all my friends and became distant from my family.
But this is now starting to change. I finally got enough strength in me to end this relationship, by reading books and watching some TV programs, I could see how not normal my live is. My problem now is to make him leave. We haven’t been sleeping in the same bed for (detail removed by moderator), live in separate bedrooms.
We have a son, and looks like his main agenda now is to put our son against me. He manipulates him, blames me in breaking the family, slags me off of been a bad mother. To pull our son on his side, he lets him do whatever he wants, play video games till midnight, not doing his homework, eat rubbish food. When I try to interfere he gets angry and the fighting starts, so I keep quiet not to stress my child even more.
We own our flat 50/50 but he has not been paying for anything for (detail removed by moderator), I am paying all the bills, rent and mortgage. If I leave and stop paying the mortgage we will loose the flat as (detail removed by moderator) and will not be able to pay for it. When we managed to have a discussion about what are his plans – he told me he will leave only when (detail removed by moderator) so our son can visit him. I know this might take a very long time or might as well never happen at all.
I am happy to buy his share off but it proves to be difficult due to new government regulation about (detail removed by moderator) Our building is due to get one in 2022- this is way too long. I feel trapped. What can i do? What are my options?
Thank you all in advance!

[KIP.]

Get some legal advice from Rights of Women. They have a free legal helpline but most solicitors will offer free initial advice. Your local women’s aid can also help you. You can ask the police to remove him, abusing you in front of your child is child abuse. He’s only going to get worse manipulating your child and he’s going nowhere. Why should he. He’s got a real cushy life where he is. You can also ask about an occupation order or a non molestation order. Meantime tell your GP he’s abusing you. That’s good evidence for your occupation order and keep a journal of his behaviour. If you can afford to buy him out then a court can order this if he won’t agree. Just keep gathering knowledge and support x there’s also the national domestic abuse helpline. You can talk about your options there.

[StationEleven]

Thank you KIP. I have been trying to get a legal advice from family law helpline that i found on Rights of Women but finding it impossible to get trough and they don’t have an email address. I will let my GP know about my situation, i didn’t know i could do that (or that it will be in any help).

[KIP.]

Yes the more people who know about your situation or witness it the batter. Ring some local family solicitors for a free session and get some advice. Let your GP know it’s affecting your mental health. He’s angry and scares you. Emotionally and verbally abuses you. You can also talk to your local police domestic abuse unit. They can advise you but your local women’s aid will have much more advice and there’s the national domestic abuse helpline who may go have even more ideas.

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