How do I make this stop

[Jelly bean]

So this morning I woke up yet again red hot and heart pounding because I’d had yet another dream that I was back with my ex.

In the dream I’m back with him and it’s amazing, the love I feel in the dream feels so real. But I have no idea why I’m having these dreams because in reality I hate him. I would NEVER go back to him. I hate how he treated me, I hate how he’s still trying to have power over my life by using the courts over the children when he’s shown no interest in them, I hate the lies he’s telling and how he’s turning everyone against me. I hate that I’m now a shadow of my former self because of what he put me through and is still putting me through. So why am I dreaming these things? I wake up and I feel sick from it. Any ideas on how I can help myself?

[Serenity]

Hi JB,

I sometimes have dreams of him. Once or twice, the feeling of love in the dream was amazing, inexplicable. But of course I woke up realising that of course, he is the opposite. He is an empty, clinical, walking corpse with no kindness and no emotion.

I think it was Jung who emphasised the power of dreams, and spoke of archetypes, that we dream of the highest desires we are equipped for and superimpose them onto the everyday.

This dream points to your capacity for powerful love. Not his. It is your mind working through memories and mixing them up with hopes and true desires. I think dreams are part of the peeling away of the layers in the healing process.

You have the capacity for true and beautiful love. I doubt he has such beautiful dreams, because they aren’t capable of such beautiful feelings.

[Author]

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