How do we leave?

[HaPea]

How does everyone manage to leave? I have a child and I don’t want to go without our stuff. I can’t afford to replace it all. Those that have mortgages how did you get the house sold and your share of any equity?

My OH has been incredibly hostile he’s on a come down from taking too much medication. I’ve sat by him and supported him but I’m being blamed for everything screaming in my face and I can’t take another year of this. I’ve packed some of my bags for like a week but if I go how do I come back for everything else?

[HaPea]

I’ve made lists on my phone of what I own gifted or bought myself. It’s a lot of things really. I wouldn’t be able to move this all into emergency accommodation and I have no income to be able to rent somewhere myself.

[Stitchears10]

I am in the same position. Planning to leave but looking around the house thinking I need all this stuff. Then working out how to get it all moved. My daughter has a loft bed which she loves, I’ve no idea where to start.
I feel your anguish and wish I had any support to give so I suppose all I can say at the moment is I understand and send you love.

[HaPea]

Thank you. I have some bags packed but I just don’t know how to go about this at all. I would have much rather it all be agreed and done amicably. However he refuses to end the relationship and refuses to move just is defiant every step of the way.

[Stuckinturmoil]

I am struggling to. I got the house valued before Christmas while my husband was out and I have now made an appointment for the photos to be taken for it to go on the market, but I have no idea how I’m going to tidy it with all the kids toys. I love my Home I wish I could keep it. I don’t know how I will move stuff out. My daughter has a bed from IKEA that came in 1 million pieces afford to let me stay in the house but he won’t out of spite. They only advice I can give is things to him to work out and just do a little bit at a time and you will get there. I was told not to leave the family home, which is why I’m still here.

[Better-days]

I’m in the same position. I was going to leave but them he would buy me out but I would need to go he wouldn’t leave. We have two kids he told me to go once and leave the kids. My reaction to that was not pleasant. He ended up going into a rage punching stuff. But from that day I knew when I leave I have to escape but then how do u then try and sort house sales stuff ect with these men. I have no idea x*x

[SunfloweSeed23]

I like the list idea. I have something similar – I took photos too. It helps with incidents of gaslighting. And maintains my sanity.

Hang in there

[lover of no contact]

I remember that overwhelming feeling. What helped me was when I heard of my stuff being divided into a few categories. They are clothes, books, paperwork, ornaments(and miscellaneous bits) and photos. Could you try decluttering some of the stuff from the categories so you’re left with just the essentials. It used to make me feel I was taking some action even if I couldn’t leave at that time.

[Author]

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