How do you cope in the "honeymoon" stage?!

[PurpleHedgehog]

Hi ladies.

After our last spat we are back on the merry go round. He is back to love bombing me. Gifts and cooking meals.

I now recognise this for what it is – the sweet honeymoon stage before he defaults again to manipulative.

He promised he would change (help with the house, kids etc.) He even offered to book counselling for himself but I know hasn’t bothered.

So my question is how do you cope with this? I have already started making my exit plans. I know things don’t change so I have to change them myself by leaving. If they were going to change he would have tried to do anything on the very shirt list we discussed…

How do I stay sane and not upset him when I really don’t give a rats furry tail about flowers and sweet texts?!

Help!

PH

[KIP.]

Act. That’s exactly what he’s doing. You become an actress which no doubt you’ve had to do many times in the past to keep the peace. Play the game and buy some time. See what you can get out of him now that will help with your exit. Money?

[HopeLifeJoy]

I agree. Take advantage of his ‘good mood’ to advance your exit plans even faster. Also request specific gifts since he is generous right now, preferably money, cash so it stays untraceable or jewelry you could sell later on.
Keep moving and stay focused on your plans, keep an eye on his mood from a distance and try to remain in control of your own actions.
Contact WA to help you with your exit plans, you need all the help&advice you can get.
Keep strong 💪

[PurpleHedgehog]

Thank you ladies. He is still using the poverty card so cash is a no go but I am going to act grateful and use the extra time to focus on my plans. It will enable me to get some paperwork I need him to sign done etc. I am just struggling not to get drawn in by it as it is so nice to have him relaxed. But I can see it still simmering..

I will be on touch with WA asap to make sure I know what I need to have ready.

Thank you for your support x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Exactly that’s the spirit! Stay pragmatic and get things done.
Seing his good moods shouldn’t fool you, on the contrary you clearly see how very manipulative he is, deciding when he turns on the charm and when he decides to switch it off. He is very much in control of what he’s doing, he just doesn’t care it hurts you.

Stay focused on your plans, get your valuable out of the way into safety ( id, passports etc, documents, little sentimental stuff etc) put them in a bag and get it out of the house with someone you trust. Open up your own bank account if not done already. Inaccessible to him. Change all your PW’s of your accounts so he can spy what you’re doing online.

You deserve so much better and you are well on you way to get an abuse free life. Keep going honey

[Author]

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