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    • #16811
      godschild
      Participant

      There was a situation today which I felt very uncomfortable with, I have made a stand that with a lot of people I will not be with him in their company as I can no longer tolerate his falseness and me covering up for him, however a situation occured today I was not by his side but close enough to see and hear how he was behaving when talking to this lady, she would never beleive he is abusive. She waved to me and I waved back but all I could see and hear whilst he was talking to her so normally was how he behaved at christmas ,filthy foul language , vile behavoir toward me.
      It made me feel so angry and sick that he can just talk to people in such a false way, and lead a double life. How have others dealt or deal with these type of situations, everything he does now is so so highlighted to me, I can no longer pass it off, I have told some people but they still are nice to him and act as though I havnt even said anything.
      He has alsogoteh habit the past couleofwekssaying nocomment otalot of what Iaskhim,it was Idotn ewnat ottalkabou t*t but nownocomment.

    • #16963
      SaharaD
      Participant

      I don’t deal with it. I’m completely no contact so I have no idea what falsehoods he is peddling these days and I don’t care.

    • #16985

      Saying no comment when you ask him questions is plain rude, what is his game in doing that? It will make you question yourself, why you are asking him the question, what have you said wrong etc. I think it, is ‘withholding information’, deliberately keeping you on tenderhooks. My ex was a real charmer to women and liked to be the center of attention, he could charm people are make them reveal their deepest secrets, he had something which made people feel good. But the more time i spent with him, well i ended it with him as i felt he was not a good, decent partner, his charm lacked depth.

    • #17009
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi Godschild, I no longer deal with it if I can help it. Not so long ago I sat through a lengthy talk with two people who were trying to help him. They were both completely taken in by the things he said. I sat there amazed could this really be the person who I lived with. He was articulate, polite, funny, charming and above all everything he said made complete sense. They left and as I turned to praise him… he said was that good enough for you that should get them off my back for a while. I refuse now to sit with him when he is with people he is trying to influence.

      I know how irritating it can be but if you can help it try and let it go over your head and take some satisfaction from the fact that if they really did know him as well as you do they would probably run a mile x

    • #17011
      dreameroftheday
      Participant

      In the refuge we are studying the freedom programme. I think lots of people should do it. It describes exactly what you are talking about, how violent men play games. They’re nice to other people but not you etc.

    • #17020
      godschild
      Participant

      Firstly sorry for the messy text at the end of the post, used an old lap top that does not type very well and forgot to check the end bit. It should read he has also gotinto the habit of saying no comment the last couple of weeks when I ask him something it used to be I dont want to talk about it.
      Thankyou for your replies ladies, I had, had enough of no comment and told him so, he said he got it from Helen on the archers, they are running a DV story and he must have heard it as she said no comment over and over so it was sarcasm, what I did yesterday was I responded with the same when he asked me anything, he then had the nerve to ask me what it was all about and he then told me why he was doing it and said he would stop but no doubt another tactic will rep;ace it.
      Thankyou all again it so helps to have it validated on here and that you understand these things

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