How do you get out

[Spacedout]

I’m wasting my life stuck in this routine of walking on egg shells every day, I don’t know where to start.

When I’m on my own I’m a happy person but he drains the life and energy from my exsitance. I really don’t understand why he is angry all the time, he’s negative about anything.

In the last year it got so bad that I’ve kept pictures and like a mini diary of all the abuse, the cuts the bruises, what started an arguments that got into him literally throwing me around and beating me. I don’t know why I did this.

I’m afraid to even get into a normal discussion with him because he’s so off the handle.

Anyways, I’ve been out of work for awhile now and recently I’ve picked myself up and finally gotten an interview for a job which I’m excited about but I’m scared because the real reason I actually went off of work in the first place is because he was abusing me, draining me. I could go to work due to being so tired I could sleep for 12hrs or the obvious busted lip or black eye, I don’t want this to be why I can’t work. I hate it. He judges everything I like or I do, putting it down. I told him I got the interview his reaction was ‘you won’t end up going anyways’

He said this due to me not going out anymore because he drains me to the point where I’m exhausted. I am going to go and his words mean nothing at all because I’m going to do whatever makes me happy from now on, I am sick of being scared to tell him anything in fear of threats of violence or actual violence. I want my own life my own things and to pull through life living how I want to. I just don’t know how to do it with him in my life still. I have wanted to leave countless times but he manipulates me, says he wants to die, he has nothing yet in the same argument tell me I can’t live without him and that I need him and if I leave I will end up killing myself because I don’t know what it’s like to be homeless. Yes I have nowhere to go this is the 1 and only reason I am still here, but I’d rather be homeless than stay with this evil human being any longer.

What steps did u make if you had nowhere to go, no family or friends literally nothing at all he made sure of that

Even though I am alone yet still with him living in his house he thinks I will never leave but I want a real life maybe a real relationship and real love

[freedomtochoose]

Spaced out. You have two choices. Either you run. And run fast. Or you die.
Emotionally, physically maybe. Spiritually certainly.
You take the first step.
Your mind has been ******.
Speak to women’s aid.
Keep posting.
Get out. Or die.
ftc
x

[freedomtochoose]

You can go to refuge. PHone the police.
Speak to women’s aid.
You don’t need family or friends.
Women’s Aid will help you.
Lisa?
ftc
x

[KIP.]

Hi, contact your local women’s aid. You could go to a refuge for a while where it’s safe and they can also help you with housing. I eventually had to give up work because of my abuser. I was also so very exhausted. That’s because of trauma. Caused by his behaviour. He will do whatever he can to keep you isolated. Have you read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven? You’re going to need a safe exit plan. These men are most dangerous when we try to leave or end the relationship so plan a safe exit and don’t tell him x

[Anonymous]

Hello there spacedout. I could have written your post myself.. I feel your anguish and desperation to just leave and the taking photos of each bruise cut and what starts an argument because I tell myself if I see it in black and white I’ll be so utterly convinced and compelled to leave with my kids regardless yet I read it as if it’s another person and I look at the pictures of the injuries as if it’s a magazine … . I don’t have sound advice other than that of keeping yourself safe and to ring women’s aid for advice. I can’t call very often and I do try as I know the lines are taken but if there are times you know you can talk safely then please leave even a number if u can’t leave a name andva time for them to call you.

[Author]

Posts