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    • #132027
      iliketea
      Participant

      Hi, I feel bad as I only come on here these days when I’m in crisis mode. I do look and read and try to respond but I’m in total overwhelm at the moment and can’t seem to function.
      I’m just SO B****Y TIRED of abuse, and narcists, and everything he did, and is still doing, I wish I had never met him, I wish I hadn’t had children with him (for their sake). I’m SO tired of self-love, exercising, eating properly, doing the right B****Y thing the whole time, and most of all STRUGGLING, every frikkin day, struggling with the fall out of HIM. His behaviour, what he did to me, what he is still doing, what he’s done to the children, and the fact that is going to go into their lives with them forever.
      How do you carry on, every day, moving forward? Just feels like there’s a big f*****g mountain right there in front of me and I’m not going to be able to get over it. Im not even sure I want to. I’m so tired of it all, of him, of domestic abuse, of the same stories, the same men, doing the same things to women. Its SO depressing, when will it change, will it ever change?
      Sorry, its a rant, no idea why I’m posting, I’ve just had enough of the fight today. Of trying to explain his craziness to authorities, of sounding like a n****r when I do. Of even being questioned about his craziness and having to justify it and explain it!!!

    • #132028
      Bee1
      Participant

      Dear Iliketea,
      I like tea too ☕️🙂
      I’m quite new in here, and by jingo did I feel your frustration there.

      I am out my NARC/alcoholic abuse life for quite a few months now. I absolutely understand the end-of-tether feeling. I still feel that too.
      BUT…I really think it’s a natural part of our life beyond the [email protected] where we once were.

      I remind myself daily, of simple gratitude.. that I am now protecting MY peace and not theirs. I wonder how much you feel you’ve accepted what’s happened hun..? It’s a big one to swallow I know, but necessary.
      I am not 100% healed I realise, but my god I don’t half appreciate the lack of daily trauma i no longer have to deal with. And I feel blessed.
      Keep rowing and keep going girl! It won’t always be like this. 💓

    • #132030
      Weemebreeze
      Participant

      Hi Iliketea, I just wanted you to know that we’re all here for you. I could have written your post myself if it hadn’t been for the fact I don’t have kids. I feel the exact same way. I found a chinese proverb which i find helpful – “the person who moves a mountain, begins by carrying away small stones.” I know this doesn’t give a huge deal of comfort but sometimes not looking at the mountain, and just taking one small step/day at a time, helps. Feelings do pass, some days are better than others. You’re doing amazingly well, the strength you have is so inspiring. Are you able to do something nice just for you?

    • #132032
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hi Iliketea,

      Big big hugs to you.

      Sometimes you just need to take a break from it all. Trying to constantly maintain the push forward and push through is exhausting.

      Just stop for a few days; take time off. Get the kids to school and look after yourself. Snuggle up on the sofa, duvet over you, get a good book or put your favourite box set/film on.

      Call in whatever help you can and do the bare minimum that you can get away with for a few days. Just rest.

      I you’re on meds, do you need to review them? If you’re not on meds, do you need to review that.

      See if you have IAPT in your area or another self referral scheme for mental health.

      You are climbing Everest and even the most experienced climbers have to stop to take a break! I’m told that the view from the top is incredible though.

      You can do this Iliketea but you don’t have to do it today or tomorrow. You just have to keep things ticking over for now. Just keep things ticking over whilst you recharge. xx

    • #132036
      Stressedandalone
      Participant

      I am the same too. Please don’t think you are alone because there are a lot of us who are going through the same. I struggle daily too while he is happy living his life with no concern for all the hurt he’s caused.

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