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There is nothing to prove even with history of bruises?
How do you prove you are losing your mind because of goading? And how do you try to keep your sanity in the face of i. What do you do? Im losing it!
And can’t seem to getthrough on the helpline no matter how many times i call no matter what days or different times even this time of night
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Oh karma I am so sorry you are feeling like this… you kno how the truth… are you reporting it? Report it get it logged… go to the Drs tell them how he’s making you feel…I always feel that people think I’m the unstable one… but the truth filters through eventually.. you are strong karma keep your chin up… x*x
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Keep a diary, email yourself, take photographs, speak to your gp. If you are having trouble getting through to WA, leave a message and a time when it is safe for them to call you back. You can speak to the police without them speaking to your partner.
It is difficult to create evidence. I am in limbo at the moment and have no idea whatsoever if there is evidence or not of my husband’s behaviour. -
I really appreciate hearing from you. I am losing my mind despite all efforts. The coercive controk is aboit ez but the coontimual goading ans tjreats od harm is someone else but the police cant do anything unlessI go to court. So all the reporting in the world will not change that theyve told me so.
Just want to know how to stop my head sinning and nack to coninual tears again going down drain is how its feelibg right now
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Oddly I was just reading an article:
‘When does the offence apply?The offence only applies if the victim suffers such treatment “repeatedly or continuously”, on an ongoing basis.
Although courts will look for evidence of a behavioural pattern rather than isolated incidents, the Home Office states each case “must be considered on an individual basis” and “there is no set number of incidents in which controlling or coercive behaviour has been displayed which must be proved”.
It must also have had a “serious effect” on the victim. It is explicitly stated that the victim must either “fear that violence will be used against them on at least two occasions” or “been caused serious alarm or distress” enough to disrupt their day-to-day activities.
The behaviour must also be calculated. According to the Home Office, it must be such that the “perpetrator knows or ‘ought to know’ that it will have a serious effect on the victim”.
Lastly, both victim and abuser have to be “personally connected when the incidents took place”, meaning they would have had to be in, or are in, an intimate relationship, or were family members living together.’
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…and w/out the awful typos….I really appreciate hearing from you. I am losing my mind despite all efforts. The coercive control is about ex but the coontinual goading and threats of harm is someone else but the police cant do anything unless I go to court to give evidence. So all the reporting in the world will not change that theyve told me so.
Just want to know how to stop my head spinning and back to continual tears again going down drain is how its feeling right now
Even trying to find the words to express mmyself here seems too hard!
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So there is a case against the someone else and you are being threatened if you give evidence? That sounds spectacularly unhelpful of the police. Don’t they have procedures for when witnesses are thretened? I hope you find someone to support you through this. Keep posting if it helps. This time will pass. That’s what I am told anyway!
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I wishing I could get to the point of saying to others this time DOES pass to inspire to keep going forward…now I wonder how likely that is.
I am a target my ex is the previous ccontrol issue.
Most important though is trying to mentally cope with the overwhelm now someone else has started with it (not a partner) but has and happily shows off all the traits. To his child too and its so hard to watch the lack of action, but police saying its all down to me to give evidence. How?
How to put it into words and make sense of it when feeling so powerless.
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I couldn’t get through the helpline at first but kept trying I left a message and was very clear they could only ring me at a specific time i.e., between 4 & 5, they rang me dead on 4 and it was such a relief to talk to someone. Please leave a message for when it’s safe to call they will call you back.
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Hi, I understand how hard you are trying to reach out, well done and please don’t give up.
In the meantime you must find the mental strength to stop your inner voice talking rubbish to you. I have only managed to take a look at my reactions to his abuse by practicing basic techniques of self talk by distraction, training my brain not to participate in confusion and doubt or over thinking, at least I try to.
The more I practice the better I am at self soothing.
You must stop absorbing and playing the coercion game played on you.
Please try to keep control of your emotions and play grey rock. It goes against our beliefs and our nature as humans but remind yourself you are playing in a battle meant for you to loose, so don’t engage your mind in it. Look at each situation with blank eyes, the more you allow yourself to be affected the more abusers notice their abuse techniques work.
Maybe imagine you are dealing with a child and you are deaf to their screams, it cannot affect you, screams and gestures and all!
I feel for you, don’t allow your sanity and control to be handed over to abusers. Try focusing on an object and describe its beauty or usefulness in your mind, slowly, stay focused.
I have been where you are, I am stronger now, but if you surrender yourself to coercion, they will destroy you. It is psychological torture. I have learned though that people cannot control you if you control your reaction to them…think about it, and practice being aware of the moments when you feel like you are going insane, choose to stay in control and build an imaginary wall of beauty around you…
Stay calm, look at objects, remove voluntarily the negative thinking your mind wants you to think, cut that habit dead on. Stay sane because your sanity is what will save you from torturing yourself, that’s what they want. Care to analyze the negativity of each bad thoughts they create in you. And say I am in charge of what I think and feel.
I hope this helps…i feel for you xx -
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