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How long did it take for you to start dating again? I haven’t been with my ex for a few years and still have very little interest in dating or being in a relationship. I’ve been on a few dates here and there but nothing long lasting or serious. I actually love being single and feel like I’ve discovered so many new things about myself. I love pouring my time, energy and effort into myself and into my kids. My mom and friends think I need to start dating but I am just not interested in putting energy into another person or a relationship. Is that normal? I do feel like eventually in a year or two I’d love to meet someone and maybe even get into a relationship, but right now it’s not a priority. I also feel like I’m still recovering from the trauma and abuse I experienced from my ex. I’m not in love with him and have no desire to be back with him, so that has nothing to do with it. I do feel like I just need some more time to heal. Is this normal or is something wrong with me? I’m just not interested in men or seriously dating anyone right now
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You should do whatever feels right for you!
It’s also been a few years for me and at no point have I wanted to be with anyone or dip my toe into any kind of dating.
Recently I met someone through an activity I do every week and something has started, but we’re keeping it under wraps for various reasons and he’s happy with that. Im so cautious though, but it’s about me not him. There are so many triggers and the trauma very much still lingers. I have come such a long way, and I have to say the boost to my self esteem has been mega, but there’s still a way to go, and I’m not even sure that I’ll ever arrive. But for the moment things are quite nice.My advice would be, absolutely don’t go looking for it if you don’t want to. It will happen when… if ever… you are.
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It takes time to recover from abuse. It’s the whole thing.
I’ve been free from my ex for some years by now. The only thing that has really changed is that I recognise the red flags much more quickly these days. You can’t unsee it.
I’ve been out with people since then. Although I’m ok on my own, I’d like to have someone to play with, someone to look after me. I think this is at the core. The men I’ve met need a mummy figure. They’ve had massive mummy and daddy issues. Oedipal really.
Take your time. Recognise those red flags.
I’m struggling at the moment. My trust is destroyed, and my abuse radar is working maybe far too well.
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This is an interesting question. A few years out and I’ve no interest in a relationship. However, recently at work someone asked me out which took me by surprise as I’d no idea he felt like that. A red flag instantly arose when he said I looked vulnerable. When I got home and thought about the whole conversation I realised he had a few issues which quite frankly I don’t have the energy or the inclination to deal with anymore. Also the idea of dating again made me feel physically sick.Although I love the idea of romance, I’m just not prepared to take the risk anymore .
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I feel such relief having read the replies to this brilliant post. It’s less than a year since my ex walked out and despite the initial sadness and shock and generally unpleasantness of going through a divorce, my life has never been better. Being with another man is honestly the last thing on my mind. I cannot ever imagine wanting, let alone trusting another man. And I am enjoying rediscovering myself far too much to want to jeopardise this freedom I now have. It’s reassuring to know how I’m feeling is perfectly normal!
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A few years. Guy I found was into stealing, buying gifts for some girl I did not know in front of me. It lasted a couple of weeks after him doing this – I moved onto no contact.
I liked another guy but he was taken ( I did not know)
I certainly have been asked out a lot but they were not my type of guy.
I have not had “serious” relationship.
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