how long have your dreams gone on for?

[Twisted Sister]

nasty nights of fear and awful dreams … will they ever stop? how long?

Are there medications that stop this? I am sick and tired of nights like this, but also resigned to what will be will be, just wondering other’s experiences?

Not coping with loud noises and so on too… does that go?

Anyone found they can’t return to a place of trauma?

why are we called mentally ill, instead of ‘traumatised’?

[Dragonfly]

Hi

I too have dreams all the time. At first it was flashbacks then horrendous nightmares. Now I can’t get his lawyer out of my head telling me I’m a liar. No idea how long it will last. I think when we dream our brain is trying to process events but when we’re traumatised I suppose that’s the most difficult thing to process because there is no rational explanation.

Maybe speak to your GP. I was on medication for a short time. I didn’t like it but it did help at times. I also think talking about your experience is crucial. I’m still waiting for the epiphany tho!

Try to do relaxing things if you can. You might not be able to relax yet yet but it will come x

[Ayanna]

I still dream about it, quite a while after I fled.
The medications for this numb you generally. I do not take those anymore. They made me fat and stuporous within a few weeks only, unable to work, unable to move, unable to look after myself. I stopped them quickly cold turkey.
I have extreme hypersensitivity to noises and that seems to stay.

I am scared to death to go back to the area where I lived before and which I loved. I am often sad that I left.
I have never brought up the courage to go there again on my own.
It is my favourite area, where I always wanted to buy a flat for myself. It is very painful for me that I lost that area.
Sometimes I have to pass through there in a car with other people, for professional reasons. Whenever this happens I have to close my eyes once we reach familiar ground. I feel dizzy and uncontrollable anxiety comes up. Although I know I am in a car with tinted windows, and even if he was walking on the street, he would not see me.
I worked there too and I happened to come into this former work place recently as part of my job. Everybody gave me a hug. I was shaking when I left the car and stepped out into the building. I loved to see everyone again, but the anxiety was unbearable.
Also, there are meetings in that area, of feminists and activists against domestic abuse. I would so love to join them because what they do is amazing. Their work is much needed and they would want to see me there. But I just cannot go there.
I resort to being a keyboard warrior from my far away place, where I feel safe.

Your last question, yes, that is a big issue. There is a whole movement of resistance against the drug mafia who wants to kill us off on the grounds of fake diagnoses. Lots of professionals are already in this movement and more and more people raise their voices against the approach towards abused women. Hopefully change will come.
If you are strong enough one day, join the fight against this form of abuse after the abuse.

[fizzylem]

The dreams have stopped for me now, and it is only reading your post that has made me remember this – I remember how emotionally churning mine were, hurtful; I also used to wake wet with tears most mornings for a while with the feeling I had a heavy slab on my chest – this was grief.

For me, in the early days, it was all about doing everything at my own pace and only doing things for me, being with only those people I trusted completely, talking bits of it through with those I knew would meet my emotional needs, which helped me to make sense of some of it, I did have other people in my life as well who helped meet my practical needs, no one required anything from me and each supported me without question, basically what I’m saying is, surround yourself with only those who can help you in some way atm – it’s important to feel safe, supported and cared for in the day times and then maybe the night terrors might ease?

Yes to loud noises, post trauma for me felt like all my senses were sharper – like my nerves had gone – it does settle, suppose it’s hard to put a time scale on these things as each of us are different, but this shouldn’t last too long, I think that it’s important to remind yourself that what you are experiencing is a normal response and to be expected. Yes see GP if you are worried.

Symptoms do lessen and become more manageable, some go all together over time. I used to get loads of flashbacks that left me shuddering or feeling attacked, then I went through a faze of being able to process each, it was like each one helped me in some way as I was viewing it with a new perspective – now I rarely get them and if I do they are just a glimmer of something with very little emotion.

Re-visiting a traumatic place – needs to be when you feel supported and ready.

Some people will say mentally ill as they don’t understand – I’m not strong enough to fight those who view it as anything other than trauma atm, I don’t engage with anyone who takes this view – maybe one day we can challenge this in some way for ourselves or others – but for now, for me its about recognising when to walk away. My GP, therapist, WA, the ladies on here, and the friends who I can seek emotional support – all share the view I am recovering from trauma. I’ve had the days when I’ve questioned are they right?(my abusers). Am I losing it? And those days are dark and frightening, so now I tell myself I know what it is and that is all that matters – and this helps me to stay strong, sometimes you just got to hold on to knowing it yourself inside.

As awful as it is to experience trauma, when it is processed with professional help and you get to the other side – it can leave you a stronger, wiser and more compassionate human being – there really is a truth in the phrase what doesnt kill us makes us stronger for sure.

[fizzylem]

Also, try only putting clean, healthy, whole, green foods inside your body x

[Twisted Sister]

Thank you all for sharing your experiencesit has helped loads to read thro them.

Ayanna your words were so moving and I am so sorry foranyone with these experiences to recover from.

I just need more patience again. I does make me realise that we are all going thro the same stuff.

Its so encouraging that it changes and gets better. Yes, peace and time and keeping safe with good friends.

The dreams do change, have changed, but still the same themes of him/men and being endlessly pursued everywhereand trapped . Just was having a vent aboutit!

Thank you and warmest wishesto you xx KS xx

[Twisted Sister]

To dragonfly. You said you took something tjat helped with the dreams. Do you recall what it was? I’d be interested to know of anything that will increase the quality of my sleep!

[Author]

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