How long until I’m over it?

[Finkle]

It’s been (detail removed by moderator) since I left my abusive husband. My life is so much better now, in so many ways but every day the abuse and relationship is in my mind. I can’t seem to shake it off. Is this normal? How long will it haunt me?

[Dragonfly]

I’m (detail removed by moderator) mnths down the line. My life is much better now too however it’s always on my mind. In everything I do, everywhere I go, even when I sleep. I don’t have the answers but life is on the up x

[SunshineRainflower]

It’s been months for me and I too think of him daily even though my life has thankfully started to move on and I can see him clearly for the awful person that he really is, not who he pretended to be. I believe it is due to the trauma that we are struggling with replying it, plus the grief of losing the relationship, losing the dream, losing the men we thought they were. Therapy is good for this, like EMDR. I’ve not had it but I’ve heard positive things about it.

Hopefully one of the ladies who has been free for longer will have some advice. Mantra, have you reported your ex for stalking/harassment? That is very creepy to be leaving you anonymous gifts on your doorstep. You don’t have to put up with that, the police took it seriously when I reported my ex for something similar so definitely get some advice on this as it will continue to traumatise you if he is allowed to keep doing that.

[anna]

I dont know really. I have been quite a while without being with my abusive mum. And i still think of it even though im better. I guess i will for a long time as i have stalking and harrassment. For me now im thinking of doing a course and working and that might help me and ive decided where possible to not tell my husband if i get stuff in the post as discussing something i cant change does not help. Though i have to say i respond better to the harrassement stuff like letters where at the beginning even seeing her handwriting freaked me out! so i guess it gets easier to live with as time goes on maybe.

[Ayanna]

It takes years.

[backtome]

I don’t think there’s any right answer to this. Unfortunately only time will tell and it’ll be different for every person.

Keep posting and look after yourself and you will heal slowly but surely. x

[Author]

Posts