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Ever since we split, I have been trying to find out how, and when my children will get to see their father, our Social Worker agreed visits should be supervised, and my (detail removed by Moderator) volunteered to be the middleman as it were.
My ex started a smear campaign against my (detail removed by Moderator), making false allegations against her and pretty much blaming her for everything that’s happened. He knows how to easily antagonise her and can elicit a response, I think that’s why he’s going after my (detail removed by Moderator) instead of me.
Although I understand why my (detail removed by Moderator) is angry at him, I feel she is being a little petty. When I asked her to contact him to arrange visits she brushed it off, saying he didn’t seem interested in seeing the kids (despite the fact that she hasn’t even asked him yet) and assumes he won’t want to go to her house.
My kids have barely mentioned their dad since he left the house, but I still don’t think it’s fair to deny them the opportunity to see him. I also worry that when we go to family court to put official child arrangements in place, that he may say that I am refusing to let him see the kids, as a way to sway things in his favour.
I cannot contact him, or be there when he sees the kids, due to his bail conditions and since my (detail removed by Moderator) volunteered to help, social services are no longer involved. There isn’t anyone else who can help so I’m not sure what to do??
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The only thing you can do is get in touch with a contact centre this was bound to happen I never understand why the courts think another person will just drop there life’s to be carrying back and forth contact for an abuser .i was lucky a friend volunteered temporarily to be a middle man and do drop off and pick up but I don’t feel it works full time .especially when it’s a family member that’s upset about what your ex has done to you and everytime they see each other they have to bite their tounge because of court and yet the abusers are laughing at us because we have took time out of our busy day to entertain them.try and look at it from your relatives point of view.she probably dosent like feeling like she’s stuck in the middle and like he deserves it after all he put you through I don’t think she meant to hurt you.
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It’s understandable if your relative doesn’t want to contact him if he is being abusive to them. Or probably even want to have anything to do with him.
If I were you I would get back in touch with the social worker and update them. Could they contact your ex on your behalf to set something up eg through a call center. (This will also provide you with evidence that you are making an effort to put things in place.)
Otherwise can you contact him through a lawyer?
Has he actually tried to see the kids at all? If he hasn’t then I don’t see how he can say that you are refusing to let him see them.
Good luck! It is all a bit of a nightmare isn’t it… I’m also going through something a bit similar x*x
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