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Hi, my partner knows i want to separate. We’re still living together so every night is either guilt trip about how life is going to be horrible for him and above all our young kids, or him saying it’s going to be war between us!
He’s also told neighbours, kids teacher and parents of kids friends that i want to break up and that he still loves me and wants to try.
People have quite strong ideas about trying to make it work for the kids and think this is just a bump in the relationship.
Of course they don’t know about the toxic atmosphere at home.
What can I say to basically stand my ground and indicate our problems cant be overcome? I obviously don’t want to give details to these people.
Anyone got any advice?
Thanks! -
Playing the victim and getting their false narrative out there first is very common. I remember when I called the police he told so many people lies that resulted in not one person checking in & everyone saying ‘he loves you, you can work it out, you overreacted’ including my own family member. I decided to just keep replies vague, as basic as ‘mmm’, and ‘probably not’ because these people were either blindly believing him & therefore aren’t my people, or wanted my side for gossip. Saying ‘noone knows what it’s like behind closed doors’ helped too. I once challenged him on something he’d said to someone and he just went into a rage & gaslighting so I didn’t bother again. It can be quite lonely leaving abuse but you’ll recognise a lot of good people (and those to avoid) as you break free and learn more xx
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Thank you. I appreciate you sharing your experience. I like the “no one knows what happens behind closed doors” idea.
Today i had someone suggest he and i go away for a weekend together just to let it all out… 🙄.
It’s a tight community and I’ll have to navigate it.
Luckily i do have lots of friends who have seen how he’s treated me and absolutely no one has even once suggested i give him a second chance… -
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