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I have been in an abusive relationship for almost (detail removed by moderator). It haunts me to even type this out.
It has taken me the longest time to recognise that I am being abused.
My issue is… I know I need to leave this man. I know I don’t want to be with this man. I hate everything about him and his values. He is not the right person for me and on top of everything else, he is emotionally unintelligent and abusive – both mentally and physically.
My problem is everytime I pluck up the courage to leave him, I feel sick and scared and quickly let him back into my space.
When I’m without him, I feel intense loneliness and loss.
The only person who can relieve me of the awful feelings is him.
I don’t know how I can escape this relationship.
I found myself making excuses on why he fractured my bones. I justified his behaviour and blamed myself.
I feel so isolated from my friends and family. I feel like he is the only person I can turn to even though he is the one I need to run away from……
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Hello Intr0vert,
Thank you for your post and for sharing what you’re going through.
You are not alone in struggling with the possibility of ending the relationship. Quite often the very nature of an abusive relationship means there are numerous obstacles to leaving, and we can become practically and psychologically dependant on the abuser.
It’s really important to have compassion for yourself and understand that what’s happening is not your fault. It’s great that you’re beginning to reach out and talk about this, I’m sure other users will be along to offer some advice and support.
In the meantime, I’m wondering if something like the Freedom Programme might be helpful for you: https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
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