How to leave him where you have nowhere to go

[Rupi]

I have been emotionally abused for some time now and have moved to the guest room. I am slowly planning my exit and have told him it is best we break up. We have a child together (detail removed by moderator). I don’t have family nearby so I am still home but feel like it would be best to leave physically and then deal with selling the house etc. what would you advise? He also says I am not making an effort to make things better but he just doesn’t listen to me. He needs therapy and then we would need therapy in order to save this relationship. Do you think an abuser can be told? Can they change? My head is all over the place. This is very hard.

[Lisa]

Hi Rupi,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Abusive men never take responsbilty for their behaviour, its hard to deal with someone who refuses to be reasonable or consider the impact of their actions. It is for that reason that he is unlikely to change- he chooses to behave in this way.

The most important thing here is you and your childs safety and wellbeing. I would encourage you to link in with your local domestic abuse service. they can assist you with a safe plan to leave and navigate your options with you.

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (open 10am-6pm every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[sweet4]

Hi Rupi
I am in a similar situation as you,i am living in my bedroom for nearly 6 weeks now, he kept telling me hes going to get help and of course, i kept taking him back, its all lies, i now have a support worker, and waiting on an appointment to see a housing officer, keep posting,you need to contact your local Victims abuse ask live chat on here.

[StrongLife]

I ended up in domestic violence shelter for short period. I called domestic violence hotline.

It’s just a house. It’s for temporary period only.

[Author]

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