How to Manage after Zero Contact is broken

[Hereforhelp]

Hi, I am afraid today, it’s been a long time since I felt afraid of what he threatened me with, twice if I dare divorce him.

Do I tell the police that he is getting a letter soon (can’t be specific on here) and he threatened me if he got this letter? Do I tell the police after some months of quiet that he may well kick off? Turn up? I am worried he will turn up when I am out and one or all our children (teens) are home…

I have that feeling of anxiety in my chest and I can feel it growing as I worry about what he may do, what he threatened as it is all about to get very real.

Would you let the police know of a threat made twice, even though those threats were some.months ago (I had to go zero contact. My worry is he will turn up or go ahead with his.threats.. I have him recorded saying the threats… not violent threats, well not outright violent threat, a veiled final act kind of threat to me as he said he had nothing to lose and gave me a horrible cold angry smile when he said it.

I think because of the phase I am at on this journey it is very impacting having to go through this final part and survive.

Sorry for ramblings, I probably don’t make any sense as my head is spinning remembering his threats.
❤️

[Anonymous]

Hi Here for help,
Definitely get in touch with the police, it will help you if it does unfortunately take a turn for the worse. In was explained to me that it was like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and the more pieces the police have, even if at the time they don’t seem relevant all information provides a bigger picture of the pattern of abuse.
Stay safe x

[Hereforhelp]

Thank you Monty, I think I am thrown as I haven’t felt afraid of late, it has been a while… his words, threats on 2 occasions were designed to stop me moving forward in any way… I have gone ahead, I have my ducks in a row, he has know idea, he thinks I am broken and have no support as he thinks as I am stupid and he is far superior to me and others….

I suppose the thought of what lays ahead over the next few months is frightening as this is all new ground, again a new phase, the last phase… I am thinking maybe phone or email the police? They may well think I am making a fuss or that I shouldn’t be afraid.. I do not know how to word my fears to the police? Xx

[Anonymous]

I think it really throws you if you’ve had a period of nothing and now it seems worse to go back to that feeling as you’ve grown used to not feeling like that anymore. I would definitely inform the police, I’m (detail removed by Moderator) years out and have recently had to have police involvement because of him and at first I felt like I was making a fuss but I’m glad I did report as now his behaviour is escalating and the police at the very least are in the loop of what has started up again. An email would be a good way forward as if you are like me I ramble on a bit and maybe the message gets lost, then at least you can be specific as to what your concerns are and will be able to keep a copy if anything develops out of this.
Take care xx

[Needtoclarify]

Hi Hereforhelp,

Well done on going to the police. Don’t be afraid, you have more protection legally now it is documented.

Although it was the same threat, it was a separate additional threat, another crime towards you that you need to report. You must report every incident and you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by informing the police. He wants to silence and control you, don’t let him or you’ll never be free.

I really hope you are coping as best you can, you’re so brave. The police will absolutely not think you are making a fuss, this is extremely serious and more funding has actually been allocated to the police to train officers in a deeper understanding of how to handle abuse cases. They are on your side.

Good luck xx

[nbumblebee]

Hey you amazing lady you.
Yes 100% email the police. Keep any texts messages etc he sends you from now on and if they are in any way thretening send them to police just keep them updated at all times you then will feel safer calmer stronger ready to kick arse again sweetie.
Sending you love n hugs x

[Eyesopening]

Hope your alright ❤️ Sending love.
I agree to inform the police. It wont do any harm and it will
Make you feel better for telling them.
Your so brave, truly, the courage you have to take the steps even after his threats, truly You must be so strong.
Threats really stick with us, I remember threats i had, no matter how long ago they were, they are very clearly there in our memory.
I’m sure everything will be fine, but just incase stay safe and do everything you can to stay calm, be gentle and kind to yourself, the stress is so bad for us
X*x

[Hereforhelp]

All your messages help so much.. I feel stuck in an old loop (only way I.can describe it) it is his deep conditioning, his rules, his way… if i go ahead with the army of help I have sought for the final part… well, he will say I have won, he will be furious as my husband is a bully, King of the Castle, he doesn’t love he only owns… yet a part of me is struggling to do the final bit… jeez this is so hard emotionally 💔

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