How to move forward

[Hellohellohello]

I finally left my partner after being with him half my life. He got worse in lockdown and I found out some things he had done which finally made me leave. We didn’t have any children but we had a dog together and unfortunately he owned the property and we weren’t married so I don’t have any rights.

I’m now staying in a relative’s spare room. I had been a carer for him when he was seriously ill and then my confidence was so low that I didn’t go back to work. He moved us to an area where I didn’t know anyone except my one relative, then he started going out all the time, drinking, gambling etc.

It turns out that he had been lying to me for the whole of the relationship and he just used me as a cover for what he had been doing. I’m trying to move forward but finding it impossible, as half my life has been a lie. I don’t have any confidence or self esteem to build a new life. I tried to get help from my local women’s aid but they are only doing zoom meetings and they were all younger women with children and custody problems so I felt like I didn’t fit in. I don’t know what to do.

[Lisa]

Hi Hellohellohello,

Thank you for sharing with us and welcome to the forum. I am pleased you found us so I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

Well done for leaving your partner and for reaching out for support from your local Women’s Aid; it must have taken such courage. I am sorry to hear you did not feel you fit in with your local support. Is there a support worker you could speak to about one-to-one support over Zoom or phone? We also have our Live Chat service where you can chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

I hope you find the forum a supportive place to be with others who understand. Please do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

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