- This topic has 10 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by maddog.
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23rd September 2017 at 12:52 am #47796AnonymousInactive
I just want this over.
Right I need to know where I go with no money and no job because that’s the situation.
There is a (detail removed by moderator) as well.
And a dog.
The list of past abuse is very long but includes
Physical abuseHe is a sick person
Saw GP who was patronising.
I’ve had enough.
Constant insults
Constant put downs
Constant controlling manner
1. How do I force him out?
2. If I go it means taking dog and 19 yr old.
Nowhere to go
Any ideas? -
23rd September 2017 at 1:19 am #47799SunshineRainflowerParticipant
Hi Zizi,
Definitely ring the helpline if you haven’t already, and your local service to get some support and advice. The women at the end of these helplines are brilliant.
Then give Rights of Women, Cab, Shelter and your local council a ring to find out your options. Depending on who owns the house and legal things you might be able to get him removed although I don’t know much about that so perhaps the other ladies can advise on that.
If moving is the best option, when I was looking for a place I was told I could apply for emergency council housing, it’s not ideal but it’s a start. Another option is finding a private landlord who accepts housing benefit and pets, I have recently found one so they are out there. The local council sometimes has lists of these landlords, plus they also advertise on sites online. I will send you a message with more resources that helped me find a place.
Keep going and don’t give up.
Sunshine -
23rd September 2017 at 2:39 am #47803AnonymousInactive
I will start taking action but there are probs with both options
1. I get him removed
(He knows where we are)2. I try to go
This means getting my (detail removed by moderator) to leave his home and he has just started college
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23rd September 2017 at 2:41 am #47804AnonymousInactive
All I want is a fresh start without him in my life
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23rd September 2017 at 2:03 pm #47825SunshineRainflowerParticipant
Definitely give the helpline a ring and your local service as I think talking it all out with the pros and cons will help you feel clearer about the right thing to do. I felt overwhelmed when I was deciding what to do too but eventually the choice became clearer once certain things were ruled out.
You could also try the Samaritans, I have rung them loads recently as I didn’t have anyone to talk to about all my problems and they were great, listened, were very helpful and by talking it through I got a lot of clarity and felt better.
And you could also write down a list of each option with the pros and cons and any possible solutions, ie. could you child get the bus or a lift with someone to college, could they transfer to another college, could you find somewhere near to the college they are currently attending etc.
It will feel impossible at first but it is possible and you can do it.
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23rd September 2017 at 2:41 pm #47826AmaguqParticipant
Hi Zizi,
Sunshine speaks very wise words like always.
Our journeys are far from easy, roller coaster ride but we must focus that one day, things will get better.Ring the helpline, they are amazing and make you feel that you are not alone 🙂
Take care 🙂 xx -
23rd September 2017 at 4:18 pm #47829AnonymousInactive
Thanks
I will call -
25th September 2017 at 10:51 pm #47916AnonymousInactive
Tried helpline 3 times tonight.
No reply! -
28th September 2017 at 8:27 pm #48034shirotoraParticipant
Hi zizi,
It will be hard to find temporarily accommodation with a dog, but you can find shelter for yourself and one for your dog until you have found yourself a permanent home:
I really hope that helps!
You deserve a better life – both of you!
White Tigress
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29th September 2017 at 1:48 pm #48065EeyoreNoMoreParticipant
Hi Zizi, please do keep trying the helpline.
Please do not let him know that you’re wanting to part. It’s an incredibly dangerous time.
Stay strong.
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29th September 2017 at 5:51 pm #48077maddogParticipant
I am in a similar situation. I have gathered my savings so I can move. There are 3 family dogs. It would be better if my husband moved out and I could get on and get the house on the market. Then at least I could make it look slightly more presentable. At the moment it is half decorated and the bathroom is still carpeted and stinks. My husband won’t let me rip it up.
I haven’t found anywhere yet. It will be unfurnished so I will have to take furniture and get removals people as they are quick and efficient. My husband rarely leaves the house so logistically it will be very difficult.
My husband’s first family much preferred it when he was away. He is a n****r from hell.
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