How to re address the problem when oh is so hostile to the subject

[runner]

So I doubt other half will divorce his wife. He says its because of his cultural asian background. Had he have been honest this would not have been messy.

I think he is not going to bring the subject up or suggest us visit his family as I think he has realised he has mannipulated everyone and one of us are going to mention something that will totally drop him in it.

He always turns down offers of food from my parents. I realise he has an option but Its so offensive. I can understand turning it down occasionally but not everytime.

Although their is abuse of religous beliefs and cultural beliefs in this ultimately its a relationship. The midwife is not concerned as she has spun this off a few people. She had apprently put me on a list for a support worker but I have not heard anything and she had spoke to health visitor who has said she just thinks its a relationship issue i’m not buying that. They are only interested uf your being physically abused.

Anyway for a long while we have gone without speaking about why he has told me he and his wife apprently split before he got involved with me and he said he would file for divorce but had not. He knew his culture before he got involved with me.

Last time I brought it up he blamed me without directly blaming me. He told me that he told me he was married(yes but he also told me that he was not getting back with his wife and would divorce her) if Id
Have known the truth I would not have just trusted him to do what he said he would. I told him our daughter would not be concieved if he was honest. He sulks and looksalmost ashmed of himself but never says anything. He also just says he never used me. Funnily enough he said that he didn’t use me right after he said he would have done anything to have children.

I guess I just need to face he has no excuses and I should not feel sorry for him. I wouldnt want this for my daughter and unbborn child. I guess once someone like him has crossed the integrity line nothing they say is going to ecuse them. But it would be interesting to find out what lies he has fed his wife. I tell you what if Iwent to see her to ask her I bet she would tell him and he would not say anything about it to me and I could tell him and he wouldn’t say anything about it to her. Spineless maybe.

Maybe I will just have enough.

[haggis]

I really feel for you in this situation, and I wrote last week I think about how I have some cultural issues in my situation.

I feel annoyed that no one is really backing you on this, because it sounds so so wrong to me. Not sure if this is helpful, but if he were behaving abusively and had mental health issues, they shouldn’t let the health issues cloud what was actually happening and how it was impacting you and your child.

[runner]

I think its another area of abuse that should be wrote about. I think that because they cannot intervene they just tell you they cannot do anything. It affects me as it causes me anxiety. Mi have no time to sort these issues out as I am always looking after my child. He never takes time out to be with his family yet he would have been mad if he thought I would be happy with him caring for our child with him still married to his wife. If I had not got Annual leave id have had to have taken time off unpaid. Funnily enough he also made that day very busy forget spending time with his family. I think there is something wrongwith that even if others don’t. Im happy he would take time out for his daughter but its a slap in the face when he would rather go to work then spend time with me too. Yet acts like there is nothing wrong.

[Author]

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