How to tell family

[Quellesurprise]

I’ve decided to start a full no-contact routine with the guy who traumatised me and I don’t know how to tell my family, mostly my mother, as they all know him and I haven’t told them anything yet. Lots of bs on my part in an effort to compartmentalise has made it so much harder for me to explain. If anyone has any advice on…setting of the inevitable conversation? Or if I should time it right as I’m about to leave? I’m not sure what they’d want or how I’ll feel later about it.

[KIP.]

Concentrate on getting out safely then you can say you had to leave because he was abusive and it wasn’t safe for you and ask that they don’t have any contact with him and you will be doing the same. You can expand later but if he harasses you please call the police as soon as possible x

[Neverthoughtitwouldbeme]

I just came out with it all when it got too much to keep to myself any longer. Probably the ‘ripping the band aid off’ method. But have a think of what you think would work best for you and make you feel most comfortable.

Good luck x

[Quellesurprise]

Thanks, both of you. I’ll keep it all in mind.

[Eyesopening]

I thought I’d tell my family and close friends, i still haven’t, i have told my therapists, gp, outreach worker and one family member. Plus one family friend who had been in an abusive situation. Though I found that pretty triggering and she gave me bad advice and confused me and so haven’t told more people since.
Telling the one family member was the best thing i ever did and their support has been what got me through.
It’s a tough one, but only do what is right for you. There is no right or wrong. my therapist did say the more you talk the better it is for you.
But ofcourse stick to people you trust and who love you.
I may not tell my story again. If i don’t feel like digging it up i wont. If i feel i want to talk, then i will.
Xx

[Author]

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