How to wipe out bad memories

[Ayanna]

My next terrible anniversary is just around the corner. I do not work on that day. I think I will do something outstandingly wonderful for myself on the day before, on that day and the day after, in order to paint over the bad memory and make it a good one instead.

[KIP.]

How about buying and planting a tree. Then you can watch it grow from strength to strength. With some loving care along the way ❤️

[Ayanna]

Oh no. That would always remind me of that day. I rather replace a memory with a memory and put it where it belongs: to the memories.

[Millionpieces]

Hi Ayana
Just wanted to say hi and sending you hugs. Farewell to the bad memories. At the moment I’m doing what I like to do no mater it what I did when I was with my ex or not that give me strength To move forward.

X
MP

[Ayanna]

Thank you Millionpieces!
That is the right way of dealing with this. Do whatever you want to do. Try to enjoy every day.
I think every day of what I could do for myself. Even after a long day at work I think of something. I explore the city where I live now, pop into cafes and restaurants I have never been in, go to areas I have never been, look into shops, buy things that I like … Sometimes I get a feeling that I am alive. Some rays of sunshine break through the grey clouds that cover my mind every now and then.
I consciously plan this. I make myself do that. Otherwise I would not do it.

[Tuppance]

Dear Ayanna
What about writing all the bad memories down on a piece of paper, tying it to a helium balloon and releasing it? Or burning it ceremoniously ? I wish you well, however you decide to do it. X

[Ayanna]

I like the idea of the helium balloon, Tuppance!

[Serenity]

Or even a bonfire?
About a year after he left, I ceremonially burnt a stupid book which the bully gave me, which covertly instructed me to become subservient. I positively delighted in watching it turn to ashes.

Maybe you could collect some things that remind you of that dreadful day – or write things down- and burn them to cinders!

[Anonymous]

Hi all, I too am coming up to (detail removed by moderator) since the ‘event’. I’m going out shopping and with friends as I don’t want to relive the incidents of that horrible day. I’ll be glad when he’s been to court and locked away. I want to put it behind me for good. I’m in counselling and have been for over a year. I’m a bit better than I was but I have terrible crying days that just come from nowhere.
I use watching films to make me laugh (Cameron Diaz in the other woman for example) and being with friends who let me just talk. Occasional alcohol helps (very occasional eg once every 3-6 months when I’m desperate) and just distracting myself, eg shopping, baking, decorating the house, the garden etc. I’ve little money do painting the walls is helping me too. Hope the suggestions help a little? Xx

[Author]

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