Hurting

[Cupcake]

I was raped in (detail removed by Moderator) by my x partner. I reported it to domestic people they gave me a idva.
She worked with me and gave me the strength to go to the police. I did he was arrested but the case has been dropped due to lack of evidence. The police say they believe me it happend it’s just hard to prove in court. My house is still alarmed and I carry a panic alarm until the police move me and the children back to my area where I have support and family.
I have been so poorly from the effects of the rape I am still having trauma therapy and have quite bad PTSD. I’m glad I found the strength to report him and maybe that will prevent someone else from getting hurt.
The whole (detail removed by Moderator) relationship was terrible but it was the rape that nearly finished me off.
I don’t know if anyone on here has been raped but did you have a feeling that something had been taken from you and that you are different now. I just can’t get myself back to the person I was before the rape.

[KIP.]

Hi there. I’m sorry for what you went through and yes it happened to me on many occasions from my husband. I want you to know that I know what you are going through, it took me six months to say the word rape out loud. I want you to know that it will get better. I rang the rape crisis helpline and visited my local branch and they were fantastic. I was in denial for a long time. How could he do that, it must have been my fault. I was traumatised. It was the broken trust I think that was hard to accept. He was supposed to protect me. We took vows and he was just a monster. It’s going to take time to regain your strength and confidence in yourself again. I also reported him to the police and gave hours and hours of statements. Again lack of corroboration. But I’m glad I spoke out. I sent him a clear message that his behaviour was wrong and will not be tolerated! He now knows I’m serious and won’t keep quiet any longer. Take baby steps and be very proud of yourself for reporting him. That takes true bravery. It will get better. Keep moving forward and take all the help you can get.

[Cupcake]

Hi I’m really sorry it happend to you. Its the worst thing. Do you feel like your a different person? I just feel I can’t get myself back. But I’m still in thearpy so maybe in time I will start to feel better. It takes a lot of courage to speak out so well done to you. I wasn’t going to but my idva lady gave me the strength too. Do you feel numb? I have that feeling a lot . I also feel like everyone is a threat especially men. Xx

[KIP.]

Hey there. I’m slowly beginning to find the girl I was before all this happened and you will find her too. She’s content and happy and confident and curious and fun. I felt numb and traumatised and ‘out of body’ for a long time. I think it’s our brain protecting us as we slowly make sense of it all. Give yourself time and be very kind to yourself in the meantime. I was also on high alert for a long time but this will pass too. I still have down days but everybody does. We are survivors ❤️

[Cupcake]

Hi yes me too I couldn’t get out of the house in (detail removed by Moderator) the doctor was giving me diazepam’s etc. I had something called rape trauma syndrome. I am better than I was then. I’m just angry that someone I onced loved hurt me so bad x its nice to be able to talk to someone else who has been through it. As sometimes its lonely and I hope you are ok. And yes I’m just going to take one day at a time xx

[KIP.]

Please feel free to personal message me if you ever need to ❤️

[Cupcake]

Thank you x x take care xx

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