Husband has a new way to get to me, who can I report him to?

[Hereforhelp]

He no longer acknowledges me, he will not talk to me… Good! It felt better and I can cope better when he ignores me. But he has messed with our youngest teens head! Our child is sick (long term), ex husband is messaging him direct Implying that he has met someone. (Detail removed by moderator). We have been separated under a year.

My son is struggling with this so much. I hate my ex husband, he is a nasty evil man, he is selfish, he knew and knows exactly what he is doing.

I do not care that he is seeing someone, it would make my life easier as then I have proof and can divorce him. Husband still says so much to get to me, he hates me. To think it wasn’t that long ago when I was worried he would kill himself (as he threatened to), it was all part of the abuse and he is continuing with our son… what can I do, our son is old enough to make his own decisions but this is impacting him! What can I do? Who can I tell?

[KIP.]

You could get some counselling for you son. Empower him to block his dad or cut contact to a minimum. All contact for you should be through a third party. When dad hurts mom by Lundy Bancroft is a good book and your local womens aid may be able to provide a course for him. Understanding abusive people is really helpful and your ex is doing this for a reaction so don’t give him one x

[Lisa]

Dear Hereforhelp,

I’m very sorry to hear how your ex is continuing his control through your child, it’s heart-breaking to see this happen.

In answer to who you can tell, you could log it with Children’s Services, whilst they may not take action your contact with them should be recorded; it depends if you want to go down this route. Alternatively if your child’s school or college are not yet aware telling them could help him to be supported.

Keeping a clear diary of contact and how it makes your son feel, could prove useful in future.
I would suggest continuing to be honest with your son and open to conversations about his Dad, children often do work out what is happening. Perhaps in time your son will learn to put up his own barriers to his father’s behaviour.

I believe in a different topic I’ve posted some support options for your son, such as The Mix, Barnados and the NSPCC.

Keep Posting,

Lisa

[Author]

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