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    • #141007

      Hi my husband has suspected asperger syndrome (diagnosed by his sister and mum as his dad had the same issues). I’ve became aware of it way after we got married. I also thought its a reason for his “episodes” when he is being verbally abusive and kind off disconnected like if there was a glass wall between him and rest of the world. Now i learnt its purely being abusive as asperger doesnt justify it. Since than weird things started to happen. Long story short his sister that used to be super supporting became very critic towards me every little thing annoyed her about me. While we used to have a good contact talking about asperger as she suspected and than had it medically diagnosed in her son we shared common ground. Since few months ago when I paid no attention to her mutiply antivax vidoes/articles she sent me she became nasty. Few months ago before traveling to see her she sent me nasty message followed by voice message to her brother where she was saying nasty things about me. Just before we were about to move houses my husband had another verbally abusive episode so I’ve spent weekend cleaning and packing things and than left with our son to stay with family abroad as couldn’t handle his mistreatment. I informed him about where we are and said my dad will come to help with move. But oh boy I don’t know if it was him manipulating her or is she just pure evil. From mature mother of 2 in her (detail removed by Moderator) she would sent some nasty comments about me and suggestions as to take a pics first and than throw my things away. Even said that If I come to her city she would kill me. I dont understand this coming from another women and my husband said he told her not to do it that way but he loves her too and he wants to change so he is not abusive anymore towards me. It hurts badly as from someone who supported me and even told me once that I should leave a house if he shouts she just became this horrible person that I don’t recognise. I feel as if Im able to trigger abuser in people or could it be that abuse they all suffered from their autistic dad ia coming to surface? I don’t know how to refer to it all and set some boundaries. I feel humiliated kicked and cheated on..

    • #141009

      Absolutely none of this is your fault, I’d block her on everything and I’d also report her threats to the police. Threats to kill should be taken very seriously. Abuse comes in cycles so be careful about how you think your husband has changed. Contact your local womens aid for support and read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. Google the cycle of abuse. You’re right that there is no excuse for domestic abuse. It’s a choice.

    • #141459

      Hi Thank you so much for your support its been a while since I was here so sorry I reply only now. I Think its important to mention what happened as it may somehow help others. My father in law passed away(detail removed by moderator)  so pressure was mounting before and after this in my husbands behaviours. (Detail removed by moderator) talking to his family members (detail removed by moderator) I found out that since young child he has been suffering from paranoia. All (detail removed by moderator) members of family independently confirmed he tends to have delusion (detail removed by moderator) than has an aggressive outbursts after. I read its also genetic (detail removed by moderator). His sister and mother with their (detail removed by moderator) conspiracy theories and (detail removed by moderator) fit similar pattern. Im not trying to justify his actions they still horrible to me but undoubtedly It is a sort of mental condition and I would like to help him. However its a tragic dance as he doesn’t think there is a need for help.. Im still coming to terms with this he is still coming to terms with a death of his father.. its all very very complicated

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