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Our youngest has recently moved out to live with her partner. I’m not happy with the move because I don’t like the way he treats her. But she has lived in a house for the last few years where her dad has barely acknowledged her existence. She is in her (detail removed by moderator) so you can imagine the damage this has done.
I spoke to her at the weekend and she was really upset. Apparently her partner had kicked off about the hours she is working, the fact a male colleague messaged her about a work thing. He is making her feel bad for wanting to socialise with them. All big red flags.
Her dad claims he cares, asks if I have spoken to her and so on. So I told him the situation especially as it mirrored things he has done to me. He was calling this man all sorts for treating his daughter like this. He wants me to convince her to come home.
I asked why it wasn’t ok for her to be treated like that but ok for him to treat me like that. Apparently he’s nothing like this lad, he started to say something then stopped.
I find it incredible that he can’t or won’t see the similarities especially as he is trying to convince me to stay in the marriage. -
He can absolutely see the similarities. He knows what he does is abuse but he will lie deny deflect gaslight you and never accept responsibility. It’s what abusers do. Try to get her to ring women’s aid or read Living With The Dominator. Children from abusive homes are way more likely statistically to be abused as adults. I think they normalise abuse and it becomes familiar to them. The best example you can set her is to show her you recognise abuse and will not tolerate it and it’s okay to walk away.
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