i am going crazy please help and advise

[banks]

he keeps stalking and harassing me
(Detail removed by Moderator) i received messages, supposedly from his mother, who I met briefly over the years we were together and this was one of the issues
i did not read, but she (or he using her phone) was more his case, (Detail removed by Moderator)
(Detail removed by Moderator) he has been harassing my sister and sent another email, subject said (Detail removed by Moderator)

i cannot today. I desperately want to speak to him. Ask him, what is going on with him, why cannot he let go. I know deep down I should not, because he will guilt trap me, but my heart is breaking because i know he is distressed and upset, i think he never saw it coming when I finally had enough because before i always gave in and took him back

i reported him, to the authorities, and to where I live and work, as he used to live there, too and still has (now limited) access. I am distraught, I have flashbacks and I miss him more than ever today and still feel like even when I try, I cannot get him out of my life.
Ignore or speak with him and maybe ask him to leave me alone? I left him without a word, i caught him taking drugs and he was really high so i said ‘never speak to me again’ and blocked everywhere, but now i don’t know if he remembers it etc i have been very strong since then, and never replied or contacted him since but its been several weeks now and he is relentless

i feel like i am going crazy and feeling sick.

[Tiffany]

Change your phone number, block him on social media and change your email address. It’s a nuisance but it is worth it to end the harassment. No contact is best and easiest when you have no contact from him. Not replying is hard and your life gets much easier when he cannot meddle in it. Delete his number too, so you aren’t tempted to call it.

[everythingwillworkout]

Banks, well done on leaving – that takes SO MUCH strength because of how much they break us down. Please remember what you are feeling is totally normal, abuse creates something called a trauma bond that binds us more tightly to people than in a normal relationship and makes it hard to break away. That does not mean that these feelings are real. If you go back, the abuse won’t stop. Please, please change all your contact info and try to take new routes to and from work to home – can you move address too, even if just temporarily? Please call Women’s Aid, they can help you make a plan and help keep you safe.

Also, remember he is not really upset. They don’t feel normal human emotions like us. He is just worried that he has lost control over something he sees as his possession. They do not change, they are dark at heart. Keep coming here and speaking us and know you don’t deserve to go back to that never-ending cruelty. The pain you feel WILL END – mine did, I am so happy to be out, to be free of him, to never think of him – nothing hurts for me anymore and you will get there too – I promise you. Getting out and staying out was hands down the best thing I ever did. The abuse got SO MUCH WORSE when I returned and I wish I stayed out the first time. Now I am happy and free and all the awful pain from the second and final break up is gone. If you go back, the pain won’t end – if you stay gone, it’s only a matter of time before it does.

[banks]

thank you ladies, this really helped. I did not contact him, but contacted the authorities again. Changed my phone number (detail removed by moderator) and keep no contact, its been  (detail removed by moderator) now and every time he tries i just don’t respond but this particular situation was hard. I was in full panic mode and went back to worrying about him because he really pushed my buttons. I sometimes cannot grasp the level of manipulation he is capable of – it is beyond me how come someone be so dishonest and vile. Thanks for your kind words, I will not go back and feeling really good that I did not reach out.

[Author]

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