I am having a bad day.

[Jumbledsocks]

I stayed with an alcoholic for (detail removed by Moderator) years. I believed him when he told me he would change and believed him when he said he loved me.

I still find it hard to realise that I am a victim of domestic abuse. Those words were used over and over again by my health visitor and police. I almost feel silly?

It has been (detail removed by Moderator) months since I fled from my home- the house I am still having to pay bills and rent for. The house he refused to take his name off the tenancy. The house he ruined by urinating on the carpets when passed out drunk, the house in which he neglected our daughter. I have no happy memories there. Yet it is hanging over me until I can be rehoused in the location I am currently staying in.

Today I feel angry at the struggles I am having to go through. I’m going through this learning process about myself- my feelings, my reactions and learning who I am again.

I don’t feel like I have achieved anything over these passed (detail removed by Moderator) months. On day one I thought- in the next couple months I will be settled. I feel like I haven’t at all done anything. My moods have gotten in the way. The lack of wanting to do anything. I feel disappointed in myself.

I have a new battle that has arisen- (detail removed by Moderator) I have always had the same feeling- will people believe me?

I am having a bad day.

[freedomtochoose]

Didn’t want to read and run. It is ok to have a bad day lovely. Lots of us here have been through(detail removed by Moderator), it is not nice as an understatement but at least you know you will have a community to talk you through it. Well done for getting out.

Slowly, step by step is the way to go lovely.
And please be kind to yourself. (detail removed by Moderator)

All best
ftc. x

[IrisAtwood]

Hi Jumbled, don’t be hard on yourself. There is no rule that says that you have to have done things by a certain time. Give yourself time to recover and be gentle and kind to yourself. Do the stuff that is essential and over time you will start to have more energy and desire to do things.

[Author]

Posts