I am learning to love, be kind and to accept myself

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi ladies. I feel it’s really impossible to share the positives in my journey with you. Today I woke up feeling so lucky to be alive, so thankful to have been able to go on this amazing holiday. I have booked a nice treatment for myself in a few weeks. I am going to be kind to myself. The way I have been treated is no reflection of who I am. I am a beautiful, kind hearted, strong, independent, caring woman and I’m going to spend as much of this year as possible to focus on myself. I am the most important person in my life. There is a whole world out there to explore and I will explore it. I seriously feel that I’m going to make the most of every second of my life. I’m back from holiday I am going to make the most of each moment I keep a journal with me in which I write my thoughts every morning, every lunch time and before I go to bed. It is really helping me. I’ve also had a letter from my Solicitor and I will be divorced very very soon! Oh my goodness I can’t believe it. Ladies we have, we can and we will do this x*x

[White Rose]

Inspiring post thank you!
I feel I need to take a leaf out of your book and spoil myself a bit more but everyone I plan something seems to come up amd one if my aging family members needs me for something or they end up in hospital and I’m stuck.
I have joined a couple of evening activities which I’m doing just for me and loving it.
A nice spa treatment sounds a great idea!
Thanks for the reminder that we are important. I keep telling every one else that but am rubbish at listening to myself x

[lover of no contact]

Hi positiveandlookingahead,

I’m delighted you had a great holiday. I love this ‘The way I have been treated is no reflection who I am….’ I was treated rubbish so I felt I was rubbish but actually the abuser was the one who was rubbish lol .

Thankyou for reminding me about self-care. We can’t change the past and the fact that we were abused and treated badly. But we can take control now and make amends to ourself and treat ourselves royally. Like White Rose says it is hard for us to do that. But we can take some small step everyday in the self-care area.

I also keep a journal and it is an amazing form of cheap therapy.

[littlemixedup]

Hi, I too am learning to love myself but it’s not an easy ride. I still have very heavy down days. I’m doing cbt which is really insightful and each time I feel the drag I remind myself to not listen to my thoughts and keep myself up by doing something I enjoy, something just for me as I deserve it. White Rose I too make plans which fall through or find life gets in the way of me inviting friends round but each time it happens I try to keep my head up, and treat myself. It’s hard work as when im disappointed i just want to scrap the day and shut the world out but when i let myself enjoy a treat it does help. Even if it’s a small treat like time out with a hot cup of tea or a chocolate bar which can fit in no matter where you are. Why don’t you pack a small bag of things so if you get called away you get something for yourself too. Or a treat for when you’re home like a hot bath and a pamper. I even get a boost from filing my finger and toenails. I really never did these things when I was with my ex now I do it and I live in the ‘now’ when I do them. I’m rambling on but I think you get the jist.

Happy treating yourselves girls : )

[Pluto]

This is so nice to read an inspirational. Im really struggling at the moment. Ive started counselling and have realised that i absolutely hate myself. It is starting to consume me an even in work were i used to be able to hide it, i no longer feel good enough. I know that this is the readon men like my ex latch onto me an i dont want this for the future but i cant shift how i feel

[littlemixedup]

Pluto firstly, well done on going to counselling and recognising theres a problem, thats a massive step in the right direction. Secondly, take small steps. How about you just try 1 thing each day that is a bit of something just for you. When you’re doing it, really think how you feel. It’s ok if it feels sad or different that’s all part of it. The fact is you’re doing it. It is hard. I used to look in the mirror and sob now I look in the mirror and think look at you you’re wonderful. It takes practice before it feels right but you will get there and even trying things all counts. A big part of my wellbeing was surrounding myself with the people who make me feel good and limiting time or cutting out people who brought me down. This really made a difference.
Stay strong.

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi ladies. I hope you’re well. Thank you for your kind words. I haven’t been on here for a while as I’ve been away again. I started doing all the little things at the beginning pushing and forcing myself to get out the house and socialise and now I’m really able to say I’ve moved on. I feel more like myself and those around me can see it. I can honestly say I’m happy in life now and I haven’t been able to say that for a while. I’ve put myself first and I am now doing the things that matter to me. I have a few more formalities left and it’s over! Nothing more to do with him and 100% focus on me. I do have my down days I’ve also reached another milestone recently in terms of ending our relationship but I try to remain positive and think about where my life was a year ago, two years ago etc and where I am now. I had knock backs with jobs I kept getting made redundant and have had to travel ridiculous miles to work but I was made redundant recently and have started a new job which is much closer to home. I was offered every single position I interviewed for and that’s a testament to me! I have thrown myself into trying to prove myself but now I don’t need to do that I just need to build on my knowledge as all these companies believe in me and want me. I’m rebuilding my life and I am quite enjoying it. I’ve booked another holiday and I’m learning to broaden my horizons. He wanted to destroy every possibility in my life I’m creating and fulfilling those opportunities. One day you will wake up and see how tremendous you are and going through something traumatic like this makes you reevaluate your life completely. Make yourself your biggest fan, congratulate yourself with every positive step you take, pat yourself on the back and be kind to yourself. You deserve to be loved and deserve to be happy! My life with him feels like a distant memory as I’ve created such a beautiful, fulfilling life around friends and family who love and support me. Never give up this is the other side! You can too reach it xxxx

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