- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 4 months ago by Kitkat44.
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27th December 2021 at 1:16 am #136059Bestchance07Participant
Its late at night and he has been upstairs talking to (detail removed by Moderator) son. I couldn’t hear what was being said but sounded like a deep and meaningful heart to heart.
I have had the kids (detail removed by Moderator) and just visited distsnt relatives. It turns out that now he knows I intend to move out with the kids shortly he has found himself another job and both children now want to live with him, not me! I am heartbroken. It has always been the case that because of his lomg working hours and being often some distance away from home, I have done school drop offs and pick ups etc. I had assumed that I would continue to do so, leaving him weekends with the kids. I often work full time hours on a (detail removed by Moderator) too so would be unable to do that. Previously he would be off doing his hobbies and leaving me to do kids, and he often goes to the gym (detail removed by Moderator).
I feel so sick right now. He was violent to my youngest as a toddler on one occasion. I have reported it to Social Services recently but didnt at the time. There were many times I dreaded leaving our kids with him whilst I worked and would ask friends, families and neighbours to pop in, say hi,invite them over and generally keep an eye on them on my behalf. My eldest possibly remembers the incident, and me barricading us in a bedroom until their Dad had left/calmed down.
Is there anywhere I can get legal advice over the festive period? I feel like I am going crazy here.
The afterschool care have reported back a few things youngest has said about Daddy buying him everything and not saying no. And that women do what men tell them!! This is what has pushed me to get out asap. My eldest is possibly nearer the age he can choose who he lives with, but Dads extravagant gifts and taking his friends out everywhere too is proving very tempting compared to his poor mother Any advice welcomed -
27th December 2021 at 9:09 am #136061maddogParticipant
The National Domestic Violence hotline will be able to listen and advise you. You can also get local help from the domestic abuse team on 101. They’re not the police and can guide you to local services.
Hitting a child is child abuse. You may also find support from NSPCC.
Domestic Abuse is so common, and when we’ve been brought up with it, it’s normal. Please keep posting here and reaching out in real life. Please don’t think it’s your fault. You can’t control anyone else’s behaviour.
You’re not alone.
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27th December 2021 at 7:56 pm #136088Kitkat44Participant
Hi there bestchance07
This sounds so so hard, I just wanted to send you love and support. I too want my children to come with me but am aware two may not, mainly out of fear and to try to protect themselves. I am working so hard on being the steady one, the most loving and safe and present one and know that once I’m sorted in a new place and they have experienced living peacefully and safely they will want more of that.
Xx
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