i am not normally like this

[Bridget Jones Is Free]

I always kept our large home and garden really clean and tidy. I don’t need to describe the work, the pride, the efforts and satisfaction this normally gives me.
Now, and especially since I came back from the refuge, I don’t recognise myself.
I don’t dust, I don’t hoover as regularly, I don’t take pride, I don’t hurry to do things, I neglect things in fact, I also neglect myself. I barely ever make my bed, hoover my room. I wear the same items, I don’t use much of what’s in my wardrobe despite having lovely items, I wear one pair of ear rings just to pretend I made an effort. I left clean laundry on my bed and haven’t put it away for over two weeks. I pick what I wear from the pile, and it gradually goes down.
Today I managed to finish my work early and I had asked my daughter to help me. Lets do one room at a time and deep clean it I said. She made a really big effort and we felt better. She is a sweet helpful angel.
I have to do it all because he doesn’t help. Repaint, sort car, fences, garden, animals, electrician, kids, food, shopping, cleaning. His life threatening xx is now his excuse but he is going to work again at tho high powered job of his, away most weeks, while we are a abandoned as per usual.

So I must wake up and put a brave face on, smile, organise, work and stay happy, ear rings and all…

[godschild]

Bridget I was just like this start start of the year , I could barley functiosome days, i used to feed myself and that was a real effort , and have a bath , I only wore the same old clothes the better ones stayed on the hangers , I lost all interest in myself and the house. but the past few weeks ive regained myself a bit, wearing better clothes, choosing matching earrings etc instead of just one easy pair of studs and getting the house in order, even the extras, so good your daughter has been kind and helped you , its normal to feel this way the abuse takes its toll in every way xx

[Ayanna]

I was like this for a long time. I just started to get out of this state and I have not overcome it. I fall back regularly.
This is what abuse does to us.

[Author]

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