I am not sure if it is emotional abuse

[bird21]

I am not sure if I have been going through an emotional abusive marriage or whether I am just being over sensitive. We have been married for (removed by moderator) years now, (although we have been separated for (removed by moderator) now) after telling me that I am no longer attractive because I have put on weight since having children and hi is no longer in love with me.

I do struggle with my metal health which he has never really supported me on, because he doesn’t understand it, so maybe it is just down to me.

Since having the children, they are my main focus, looking after them, meeting all their needs, the usual running around to clubs etc. I get no support with that. He is very keen on his (removed by moderator). (removed by moderator) always comes first, over family life. I do work, but my financial contribution is never recognised because I don’t earn as much as him and I don’t have my own business like he does. He always complains about the state of the house and on days that I am not working, gets cross when I don’t spend all my time doing chores before doing my own thing.

He considered us moving, he started looking at houses, when i started looking and suggesting a few, I was quickly told that when he found one worth looking at he would tell me. It was the same when replacing my car. He was never really interested in talking about my day because he just wanted to come home and switch off.

I am still in the marital home and find myself constantly worrying about the children breaking something and being judged.

I really do not know how to move forward in so many ways.

[KIP.]

Yes it’s emotional abuse. Are you still living under the same roof as him? The first thing I’d do is get rid of him. It sounds like he contributes nothing apart from making your life miserable. If you’re physically separated then it should be easier to get him out your life. Abusers destroy our self confidence. The best way to dominate someone is to destroy their self confidence and that’s what he does when he belittles and insults you. Have you taken legal advice? Most solicitors offer free initial consultations. So find out where you stand financially. It sounds like he’s having a great time doing what he wants while you’re his child are and housekeeper. Abusers also pile on the responsibility like housework childcare to keep us exhausted and not let us build our own life away from them.

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