I am so poorly and it feels like he does not understand

[Anonymous]

I keep telling him how poorly I am. We do don’t live together but I just thought he would be there for me when I am unwell. I needed him so much last night and he just said he is out (Detail removed by moderator) said he would be back (Detail removed by moderator) . I stayed up all night as I am not well and just needed his comfort even if he just stayed I the phone to me to show me he cares. I always feel last. I blocked him this morning because I feel he can not even be here through my hardest times. I feel no support from him when I talk to him about the way my family are treating me he does not help me. I am so poorly and having to do everything for myself. I blocked him and now he is sending me emails accusing me of talking to my ex. I feel like I can not be with a man who stays out all night. Does that make me controlling? I get worried as he use to be an alcoholic etc. I just wish he was here for me when I am at my worst. He has money to go out but when he is with me he is broke. (Detail removed by moderator). I feel like nothing. (Detail removed by moderator). He knows how poorly I am and has done nothing for me I feel like I may aswell be on my own. (Detail removed by moderator) . I am so confused he makes me paranoid I hate my life with him now. I thought he was so different. I thought he would care for me and be there for me. Why don’t I feel the love I need. Recently I regret leaving my ex over him. I just want to break down and cry.

[Freedomfighter]

So sorry you’re having such a rough time. It sounds like you can not trust this man. If he can’t support you when you’re ill, why bother with him at all. If you were on your own you wouldn’t have had any support then either, but at least you wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of feeling rejected and uncared for. I would keep him blocked if I was you.
Hope you’re feeling better soon. Hugs

[Lisa]

Hi Anonymous,

I’m sorry to read you’re having a difficult time at the moment, however it sounds like he is the main cause of your distress. Sadly this man is not going to give you the love or the support you wish for and deserve because he is abusive. You have taken a big step by stopping contact, now you need some good support to keep that in place. I’d suggest blocking his emails or closing that account if you can. Please consider calling the helpline on 0808 2000 247 or contacting your local domestic abuse service. Group support with other women who understand what you’re going through could be really helpful for you.

Keep posting, life will get easier the longer you have no contact with him.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[freedomtochoose]

Yes, right lovely. Yes he does not understand. Yes he does not care.
These are hard realities to accept. But there are people, organisations, friends like us, who do care,
and will be there for you.
Event though not all of us can do everything, everyone can shoulder a little bit.
don’t forget Samaritans
116 123
they dont’ mind being there at all hours.
big hug
ftc
x

[cloudyday]

Its so hard to accept that the person who is supposed to love you is the person that doesnt care about how you are feeling, if you are unwell, feeling down or lonely or need moral support when times get rough. I remember having a hospital appointment in (Detail removed by Moderator)v and he promised to come with me and then failed to show up at my house after he argued with me so I travelled up to (Detail removed by Moderator) to go to my appointment alone. He caused me so much distress before I got there with abuse on the phone and finally showed up 5 minutes before my appointment like it was some kind of game. I was also poorly another time with a really bad cold but it didnt stop him shouting abuse at me and bullying me. It is so distressing and hard to understand but then the realisation kicks in that this person will never be there to support you because he only cares about himself. We keep reaching out in the hope that they will offer us a crumb of comfort when we feel at our lowest but it never comes. All they do is make us feel even worse and more miserable. Have you tried to see a counsellor. My counsellor specialises in the area of emotionally abusive relationships and coercive control and I have found it so beneficial. I called the Samaritans once but i found that although they listened to me they did not have any professional experience of this type so my chat with the person seemed a bit meaningless and empty. Keep posting on here. Hope you feel better in yourself soon. x

[Author]

Posts