I can't do this any longer

[cupcakes]

I just don’t know what to do any longer I can’t live like this his driving me nuts with all his twisted lies and threats and trying to turn it all round to me trying to make out I am the bad person and that it’s me abusing him. He is constantly telling me he will have the children taken off me. He won’t go and he won’t let me take the children his refusing to pay for things and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to do or where to go.

[KIP.]

Ring women’s aid. You need help and a plan to get away. You’re traumatised and not thinking straight. Do not believe a word he tells you. It is all lies. Ring the helpline, find your local women’s aid and get help from professionals who deal with these abusers every day. I know how you are feeling because ive been there. Confused and frozen with fear. That’s why you need a professional to help. Take a leap of faith. My ex threatened all sorts of nonsense. At the time I was so wrapped up in abuse that I couldn’t see past his pathetic threats. None of them came true. He didn’t force the sale of my home or kill himself (detail removed by moderator). Liars. Either you have to move out to family or friends or refuge or get him out with a non mol order to stay where you are but I can tell you he is dangerous and the abuse escalates when we try to leave. Ring the helpline x

[Lisa]

Hi Cupcakes,

I just wanted to show you a little support. Please try and find a safe time to phone the Helpline as soon as you are able to. They will tell you the truth and help you to see what your options are. Please do not believe him, he is simply trying to keep you hostage and under his control. You and your children deserve to be safe and happy. We are all here for you.

Please phone the helpline and let us know what they say.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Serenity]

Hi Cupcakes,

A big virtual hug (( ))

Reaching out for help ( as said above) will make all the difference.

Once I had contacted Women’s Aid, I was assisted all the way, with all elements. I couldn’t have done it alone.

The thing most women struggle with is the fact that their abuser will quite candidly and cleverly try to blame them. It’s only when you’ve been away from the relationship for a while that you can see the truth, the intricate lies and tactics. That’s the irony.

Ask for all the help you can. You can get out and you can recover. I never thought I could. We all can, with support.

[cupcakes]

His going to destroy me

[KIP.]

No he is not. You can find that inner strength. To have survived what we have survived makes us strong and resourceful. Can you take the kids to a relative and put some space between you?

[lover of no contact]

Hi cupcakes,

Its good you reached out for support. I too have been in that place where you are now. Its gets to the point where we mentally can’t take it any more. That’s normal. We aren’t meant to be abused. Your mind and body are telling you its impossible now to live with him or be I contact with him. Abusers and their tactics are poisonous. You feel like you do because you are ingesting poison. KIP has good suggestion, can you put space between him and you for a while and go to a relative with the kids?

Keep posting as much as you need so he won’t break you. I remember that weakened, battered down feeling and its awful but you will break free eventually. Hang on in there.

[cupcakes]

I am so scared and confused I just don’t know what to do…

He is continuously telling me I will lose my children and saying that he is the one who has been abused for years. His very clever and manipulative and I think he will do anything to destroy me.

I feel trapped and I don’t feel like I can turn to anyone. I am even scared to talk to anyone in my own house incase his recording me.

[Lightness]

Please ring the helpline Cupcakes. I thought mine would destroy me too. That is why I knew I had to leave and get to safety. I just left with my little one while he was out. The helpline will help you take back your power.

[Anonymous]

Hi cupcakes
Here giving you support.call womens aid you can do this. My ex tried to destroy me .best decsion i did was run .get some help hun . X

[Lisa]

Good morning cupcakes,

We are all here for you. I am so pleased that you are getting some lovely support here. Please find a safe time when he is not in the house, or if you are worried about being recorded please leave the house to phone the helpline and let us know how how you get on. Please stay safe while posting on here too. Your local Women’s Aid group could help too.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

Posts