I can't do this anymore

[determinedtobefree]

I’m tired.im exhausted.i have given up.i can’t fight this anymore.i escape physically.but totally fxxxxd up mentally.im a fxxk up

[Flowerchild]

Darling dtbf, realising you’re in a relationship with an abuser is like finding yourself standing in the middle of a motorway. Getting out is like dodging the high-speed traffic across all the lanes. Right now, you’re shaking with adrenaline and relief on the hard shoulder, but perhaps you got clipped and flung about a bit and the traffic is still really loud and close.

How would you expect to feel? They don’t call us survivors for nothing!

You will grow calm and strong and feel happy again in time, but give yourself recovery space and permission to let all the stress and pain out. Some counselling might be a good idea to help you process everything that’s been going on, but if what you really need is just to curl up in a ball and hide under the duvet, then do that, if you possibly can, and don’t beat yourself up about it. You’ve been traumatised by the experience.

Remember, the horrible voice in your head is probably still his and you’ll need to replace it with your own self-loving, kind, gentle, encouraging voice and it can’t be done overnight.

Look after yourself, lovely, you’re in recovery, bout look – you survived!

Flower x

[Anonymous]

Its that stage of transition isn’t it from caged to all of that freedom. BUT its so hard to enjoy that freedom when you’ve been through so much. He’s hurt you mentally, your brain is battered and bruised right now. You do need time, as above to rest, just try to take each day as it comes and don’t put pressure on yourself. Life is everchanging, good and bad, but I think we appreciate the good when we have been dealt such a c**p card. Im screwed up, so insecure and vulnerable at times but I know in time I will heal and so will you. We have to we only get one chance at it, one life xx take care of yourself xx hugs

[Ayanna]

Yep, the mind needs a long time to recover, if ever.

Flowerchild I love your metaphor of the traffic. This describes it so well!

I was an incredible mess after I fled too. I am still struggling, but in a much more organised way.

See yourself as a project that requires work to be fixed.
You have all the time now to fix yourself again.
Avoid people who do not understand you or accept you as you are now.

[Twisted Sister]

Dear Determinedtobefree

You will be properly free once you start adjusting to life after abuse. Who do you have to cal on to help you through this tough time?

Sending you huge virtual hug if that helps any, and hand-holding, and strength for this tough time.

You are not a f**k-up, you are feeling from and feeling the effects of trauma love. You need to be very gentle with yourself through this, do yourself kindness, lavish comforts and treats upon yourself. You deserve this, and if you dnt think you do then you just need even more!

Warmest wishes ts

[Twisted Sister]

There is always the helpline to speak to someone in RL wo will understand and not judge, and Samaritans for when times are too hard.

It’s quite a roller coaster, I hope you manage to soothe yourself and get some rest tonight.

Ts

[Lisa]

Hi determindedtobefree,

I just wanted to see how you are today? I am sorry that you are finding things challenging at the moment. You have come so far and been so strong, please be kind to yourself and get as much support as you can. The helpline is often quieter later at night and hopefully your local Women’s Aid group is giving you some help too.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there I cant do this anymore, i read somewhere the person relating to escaping to having a baby. There’s all the anxiety and stress while pregnant (living with the abuser), then there’s the labour pains and feeling unable to continue as it hurts so much,(preparing to leave) then there’s your baby, born healthy and full of hope for the future. (Youre out, and yes the futures scary and unknown, but trust your instincts).
I hope this has helped and not sounded too contrite, i most certainly dont mean to trivialize your situation.
Blessings to you
IWMB 💕

[determinedtobefree]

Thank you all for the replies and support.ive moved to a new country and I think finally being away from the area has given me the chance to relax and at times all this mess hits me in the face.is just really hard at times.

[saveme]

your not a fxxk up, you were strong enough to escape your strong enough to get through this. I’m sure everyone has felt this way at some point but now your here and you have everyone who uses this page to help others and to get help, to help you through this.

[Author]

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