I cant do this much longer

[cupcakes]

I’m out for months now but the hurt continues he continues to hurt me he continues to get to me continues to play games and try and destroy me…. I cant do this much longer I feel so broken today….some days I think it was all my fault and I deserve everything I get – I cant do this much longer I want it to stop I want my life to be normal

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Cupcakes,

Can you go no contact? Do you have any reason to still be in touch like children? Even with children you can use a third party. These men seek to destroy us, we have to protect ourselves and stop allowing them contact which just gives them further opportunities to abuse us.

You definitely didn’t deserve any of it and none of it was your fault. Things will get so much better once you can cut him out and start to heal.

[Serenity]

Hi Cupcakes,

Sorry you’re suffering so much.

Have you been receiving any counselling, or do you have any other kind of advice and support? When we try to be brave and struggle on, it’s exhausting, and bound to get on top of us.

Are you in any direct contact with him? If so, is there a way of not being?

[cupcakes]

Hi Both – yes we have children so there is contact however only via email, I do not have to face him ever which is really good I guess. The police are now involved and he is constantly threatening me with courts for one reason or another and I am constantly terrified – I just want it all to be sorted and over so I can move on. I feel I cant move on and I feel I re live ever day what happened – his voice is in my head, his words are in my head, I am confused trying to make sense of anything and then start to thing some really horrendous things, I cant sleep at night. I have not had any counselling as there are no local womens aid centers to me and my doctor said she cant refer me either. I cant afford private counselling and I also struggle with time as I am always either working or with the children and I have no one that can help out with babysitting.

[Author]

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