I can't keep this up

[hop]

feel like I’m putting a total guilt trip on a professional. I’m too old and bored of telling people my boring story. I always said this w*d the last chance I was giving it and I really trusted that it would be the last time. Now that’s not going to happen and I feel bad for saying that’s it. I did put everything into it and I have told some of my most intimate secrets and what for f*****g nothing! I’m not starting again, I’m not just living in this perpetual wheel of getting half better and not getting to the end. It’s exhausting and I don’t want to do it any more.

[fizzylem]

Hi FF, trying times aren’t they; self isolation is tough, even the mentally strongest of us will struggle, so try to bare this in mind. Healing for me comes in ebbs and flows, some days I feel like I’m winning, other days not so much, there are always moments and wobbles from time to time, this is inevitable, it’s life, but no time spent healing is ever wasted time, and you are never back at the beginning, each step is progress of a kind, even those steps in the darkness, before the light appears again. Keep chipping away, making sense, gaining self awareness, giving yourself what you need, practising self care and you will grow and strengthen, you are growing now even though it doesn’t feel like it, learning how to ride out the storm is part of it, learning how best to help yourself in these times is also a part of it.

When we are lost, we are searching for the answers, until we find what it is we need – keep going and take time out to give yourself what you need – always, whatever that may be, sometimes we just need a day off and to let it all go; learn how to respond to the self, your thoughts and emotions to meet your needs and you’ve cracked it flower x

[hop]

Thanks fizzylem xx

[Iwantmeback]

Hi FF, I’m in a situation now that I have my own place but can’t move due to how this virus is affecting grants from councils. I’m accruing rent arrears weekly. I’m basically stuck between 2 properties. Uc doesn’t pay rent on 2 properties whereas old system did. I’m too old for this sh.t, but the thought of returning, even though I think if it, to actually do that won’t happen. Ive sorted out huge debts when I was with him, if this is the price for me to leave him then I’ll have to pay it. Though I’m trying to get government people to be aware of this too.
Stay strong mo chàraid, you are so much stronger than you’ll ever know
IWMB 💞💞

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