I can’t remember

[Fairyliquid]

I was presented with a (removed by moderator) list of all the bad things I have done and said.

I have said some horrible things this relationship has been toxic.

I can read and justify or perhaps understand why I said them.

I’ve tried to write a list for myself about what I have been told about myself and I can’t remember anything. Which is making me think that it’s me that is the problem.

I’ve been in therapy a while the therapist keeps telling me its abuse but I now can’t remember what I have told them. Nor what my partner has said to me. I just remember days and days of crying.

[Twitcher]

All of it leaves us feeling so confused and lost and that we no longer know who we are,I think we try to block all the pain out. When I started talking to my counsellor I was so completely broken I couldn’t even cry, I asked her what I was like at the start of therapy and she said I was very sad and I’d given up 😔 fast forward 6 months and although it’s still destroying me heart and mind I’m divorcing and I would never of thought that this time last year. Give yourself time lovely, don’t be hard on yourself this is all so incredibly difficult.
My soon to be ex says it’s all my fault and he’s the victim, apparently he brings the nasty side out of me. Please keep posting, the ladies on this forum will help you every step of the way, big hugs to you x*x

[Fairyliquid]

Hi Twitcher

Congratulations (not sure if that is the right thing to say) however you should be so proud of yourself on being so courageous to get to a point where you are almost out.

Thank you for your message. It helps not to feel like a complete n*****e.

Thank you I will keep posting. Everyone here is lovely.

[brokenscars]

I can totally relate to this. Sometimes I do pop stuff down on my phone at the time. Partly a record partly for me to go back to and think why do I put up with this. Not convinced it helps to be honest. But sometimes I want to write out how I’m feeling and just can’t. I think we put up a mental block to get through it and from what I’ve read on here that can come flooding back once you leave the situation. We do what we do to get through and most the time that’s crying and wishing our lives away but that doesn’t mean that we’ve provoked them they don’t need it they do what they do naturally

[Author]

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