I can\'t stop being sick and I am so anxious about going away

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Please help I feel awful 😣😣😣😣

[Lightness]

Hello Positive
Can you tell us why you are going away? Do you have to go away? From memory you are no longer with your abuser.
x

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi lightness. I’m going on holiday and it’s best extravagant so I have feelings like I don’t deserve it because of the abuse. No I’m not with him anymore I’m at final stages of my divorce. I just find goodness really difficult to deal with its very overwhelming but I’m stating to feel more positive about my holiday now just got to shift this nasty cold. I know I’m ill because I’m so unhappy at work as my boss is a naraccist and it’s causing me to feel ill so in a way I’m so glad I’m ill because it means I don’t have to go in x

[KIP.]

Lots of mixed up emotions going on at the moment. If it’s something your abuser would not approve of then it triggers us. It happened to me when I went away with my sister soon after my ex was arrested however it was the best holiday I had in years. I came back refreshed and relaxed. A great confidence boost. It’s another step in the right direction. Accept that you are still fragile and will have down days but you will have the time of your life. Doing what you want to do. Not having to consider your abuser at every step. I went snorkelling with my sister and it was a huge hill down to the beach. We got a taxi down and back. If I was with my abuser he would have made me walk that in very hot weather. Then if I dared get a taxi back up he would have walked on his own and sulked all day. Enjoy enjoy enjoy x abusers can’t stand to see us happy 😃

[Serenity]

Hi Positive,

Just in general, I believe that when we are recovering : we can’t run before we can walk.

I believe it’s good to alternate periods of rest and self-care with periods of trying to branch out- but the branching out needs to be with lots of support.

Only you know in your gut whether this holiday is a step too far, too early, or whether you are able to take this holiday and ensure that you can put in place limits and boundaries which ensure that you feel safe or supported when you are there.

I think pushing ourselves too far can have a detrimental effect.

This time is all good practice for listening to yourself, to your gut, your needs and putting in place firm and protective boundaries.

Xx

[Positiveandlookingahead]

I just want something nice for myself! So upset that I’ve been like this all week! I can’t stop crying I deserve this! On a positive I haven’t been sick today but I still feel so sad. I’m not a good patient at all I hate being ill. I don’t want him to win I want to be able to live my life and be happy. I booked this holiday a while ago and I said to myself I nedd something to strive to and something to achieve. All I want is to feel well I’ve been scared that they won’t let me fly. I am so ready for this relaxation! The friend I am going with is like a sister. I can’t type any more cos I’m too drained I’ll reply to your messages tomorrow or something x*x

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