I contacted

[Anonymous]

My youngest sons dad to tell him that his son was very down and he were saying how he wished he were dead. My son has autism. His dad is my first abuser who i had just under (detail removed by Moderator) with. Anyway he came round first time he had seen him for a while in person. He had spoke to him about things. His dad were physically and emotionally abusive to me when i were with him. And very emotionally to my boys. Mocking them basically mental b..t.rds. so on. His dad has kind of been trying to reel me back in since his ex give him the boot after just months together. Basically she saw through him. Anyway while he were at my house his ex had rung him. He were grinning at me as if to say well i cant be that bad shes still chasing me. (detail removed by Moderator) It were as if to say well make ur mind up time now. I said go back to her its no problem. Well he jumped up starting to swear with total agression. I thought this is the real you thats exactly why i left. I thought run back to her shes welcome uve not changed. But its upset me and the boys especially his son. He even dropped his anger management after (detail removed by Moderator) sessions.

[Falling Skys]

Hi

So sorry you had to go through this again. But at least he has proved to you how awful he is and he’s not going to change.

Zero contact is best way with these men.

With you son talk to him as well as the doctor or school if needed, your abuser may have lied to you about him to get you into conversation.

Stay strong FS xx

[KIP.]

There is nothing he can give you and your boys that you can’t give them. Don’t let him drag you all down. Look for help from people who care x

[Suntree]

Sorry to hear your youngest is struggling. Can you get him any therapy to help, with a therapist that understand autism?
Mine are back in therapy and most of it is from the abuse they suffered at their fathers hand, most of it emotional abuse.
Asking your and their abuser back in their life when they are at their most vulnerable because they share DNA is not always the best way to go.

Finding people who care and love them who won’t abuse them and/or who are trained is the only way.

Hugs

[Serenity]

You contacted him because you felt guilty at not giving him access and wanted to give him a chance to do something good for your son, bug your son wasn’t the focus: your ex made it all about him, his sexual conquests and his own ego.

These men are incapable of putting their kids first or acting responsibly.

Not only did he fail to help: he made the problem worse.

However many chances you give him, he will hurt you all. There comes a point when we need to accept that these abusers are a dead loss. There’s no hope for them.

[Nova]

Hi Icandothis..NC as much as poss. that’s your control button!
Never mind what he does and says…you do not want him anyway. As has been said, he cannot provide anything, don’t waste your time.
He’s flattering himself, you can’t fix him or his attitude towards your children.
Focus on yourself..your children see what a great Mum they have!

Cx

[Anonymous]

Thankyou everyone for your replies. Much appreciated. X

[Author]

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