- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 months, 1 week ago by
lostbetweenthestars.
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27th November 2024 at 7:19 pm #172496
Sunflower1
ParticipantI won’t go into too much detail but the situation got bad (time frame removed by moderator) and the police are now involved, (detail removed by moderator). He is allowed supervised contact with the kids but we have to arrange it through a third party. I’m not going to lie it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I couldn’t breathe I felt so sick and the kids were crying, everything was scary and moved so quickly. I kept telling myself one day at a time. His family all turned against me and were absolutely awful, making a hard situation ten times harder. I then formed my own army, reached out to close friends and family , told them everything which I’d never done and the support has been amazing, I have family staying with me for support and I stopped being proud and started saying actually I do need help, I need support and that’s ok.
My youngest saw me crying and he said why are you crying? It’s all stopped now. He has given me the strength to keep going, he was so relieved once he understood what was happening. I don’t know what happens now, I spoke to housing who have changed my banding for bids on council housing but they said there is a housing crises and they agreed really it would be better if he moved. At the moment we can stay but I’m not naive enough to think he will make it easy on me. I am going to speak to the landlord about putting just my name on the tenancy. The housing officer suggested an occupation order, I think I might do this as a precaution. Anyway I just wanted to tell anyone that knows they need to leave, just go, it’s hard but already we can all breathe again, take one day at a time and don’t underestimate them, go and don’t look back, it could all stop. X
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27th November 2024 at 8:10 pm #172498
Yesican
ParticipantWell Done. That’s great news. Huge kudos for asking for support and for getting it too. You’re looking after you and your kids.
Do your best to see if you can stay in your house without him. I wish you luck.
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28th November 2024 at 5:15 pm #172512
Sunflower1
ParticipantSo it all got nasty as predicted, he’s broken bail contacting me several times, (incidents removed by Moderator)! The family keep saying I’m not a victim, I have video evidence I have photo evidence I feel like plastering it all over social media and tagging them all #notavictim but I’m trying to stay calm. I know they don’t matter and the people who matter believe me it’s just so frustrating how I’ve been painted.
Anyway I will just keep swimming!
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1st December 2024 at 6:01 am #172549
Better-days
ParticipantWell done The hardest part is over. You should be so proud of yourself. Your kids will be forever thankful xx
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3rd December 2024 at 5:18 pm #172584
Sunflower1
ParticipantThank you, I am trying to keep telling myself this and honestly the kids and the house is so much mor relaxed. His family keep telling me I’m not a victim, it wasn’t abuse, we weren’t good for each other, couples argue etc etc etc. I feel so much anxiety at the moment, I’m trying to keep a normal routine for the kids, working, school, doing the shopping but I have so much anxiety around returning home and it’s hard. I’m going to speak to my GP, I need someone to talk to really but don’t have anyone I can tell the whole truth to, I don’t know why.
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4th December 2024 at 6:40 am #172588
Better-days
ParticipantI totally get that I have never told anyone exactly what happens In my home. Has family won’t know the half of it u know the truth and that is all that matters hunni. My partners family will hate me when I leave I know that but I need to do it for myself. I can’t imagine what u are going through right now probably the most difficult time you will ever experience but it won’t last forever. I’m glad your house is now relaxed your kids home will be there safe heaven and they will be forever thankful that is all I want for my children.
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5th December 2024 at 11:47 am #172615
lostbetweenthestars
Participantwell done it will be nitty gritty to start with but with all your family and friends support no one cant touch you or your family. you have done it for you and the safety of your children that’s a mum at her best !!
i wish you all the luck in the world and fight to stay at your home !!!
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