I don’t know what I am feeling now.

[Fireflies]

Hi. I am supposed to be feeling safe feeling after I escaped from my abusive house. Yes, I feel safe from my ex. But, what is this feeling?

I feel confused. Everything is so mixed. I currently feeling lonely, missing my happy days that I had from my previous home, with him. Missing that I had nice dating times with him. Now I feel totally alone. I don’t have any child. I feel like in deep deep ocien. Why? I wanted free from him, but on the other hand, I don’t know what I am feeling now.

What is this? Anyone have answer for this?

I will have counceller on next week, but… I don’t know. I am not saying I want to go back to him, or go back to abusive house. No, I don’t want that. But… in my deep heart I feel like I have a big hole inside….

I feel like I won’t feel any love anymore, I don’t know why I am living for now.

I really not sure what is going to be like with my future.

Sorry for my rent.

[Catjam]

Hi, I totally understand that feeling. I too have just left and I miss him so much. I know I can’t go back but I long for the times where I can pretend everything is ok.
I hope it gets easier and I try to distract myself with jobs around my new place.
Take care xx

[Author]

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