I don’t know what to do

[Sunshine2]

So after telling my mum there would be no more contact she turned up at my house along with my sister and brother-in-law and they basically ambushed me when I got back home from shopping. I couldn’t drive away as they stood in front of the car and we ended up having a conversation through the car window. As usual it was all about them and they wouldn’t listen when I said no contact – the only way I got them to leave was by agreeing to a text message once a week which I really don’t want to do. I’m so glad I had the door locks changed otherwise they would have been in my house. I don’t know what to do.

[Lisa]

Hello Sunshine2,

I’m sorry to hear about the intrusive behaviour from your family, that sounds like a stressful and frightening experience.

Do you feel like you would want to consider logging this with the police in case the behaviour escalates? It could potentially be considered harassment and police records could be helpful if you decided you may want to apply for an injunction against your mother ultimately.

I can imagine that it might feel difficult to consider at the moment, but it’s useful to have the information in case it feels like an option at some point.
For more information, DV Assist are a specialist injunction and legal service: https://www.dvassist.org.uk/

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Hopingforpeace]

Hi Sunshine2, how are you doing? It takes an incredible amount of strength to go no contact and to stick to it. I am so sorry that you were pressured into agreeing to something you do not want to do. You could block their number so that they are unable to contact you. If you feel you need to reiterate that you want no contact, you could text this first and then block their number. If they try to make contact with you any other way again and you are worried i would advise reporting it to the Police. I understand that that may feel very difficult to do however it may offer you a bit of much needed support and give you a bit of reassurance. If they continue to try and contact you when you have asked them not to it would be deemed as harassment and the police could take action if you wanted them to.

[Orangerainbow]

This is so tough when its your Mum, I should know. Know. Mine is domoneering. I read a book called toxic parents..helped me keep sane years zho. So hard as they have no boundaries.

[Sunshine2]

Thank you for the replies. I had blocked them on my phone etc hence they turned up at my house. I unblocked – sent a message to say I was ok but still wanted no contact – got a ‘nice’ reply and now I won’t contact again til next week when I’ll say the same thing. It feels a bit silly to do but hopefully it will stop her keep turning up at my house or trying to find another way back in. It’s so hard.
I feel so much better in myself knowing that she can’t keep contacting me and that I won’t be pressured into going to visit her – I don’t want to feel that she has any control back – I’d love no contact at all but maybe that will come in the future.

[Author]

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