This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 6 months, 1 week ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #71964
     afterhim 
    Participant

    I’m questioning everything. I feel really panicky today. I know that it hasn’t been long out of if and I was starting to feel myself a bit. But today. Today is a bad day. He’s in my mind constantly. I’m thinking of trying to retract my statement and I’m back to square one with now thinking that I can’t do this without him. Why do I have an attachment to someone who clearly doesn’t care for me?

  • #71965
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    This is the way this unfortunate dynamic works hon. This is the work we need to do for and with yourselves.
    You can do this. You have got this.
    Keep posting
    ftc
    x

  • #71966
     afterhim 
    Participant

    I know what he has done to me both physically and mentally. But it’s like I’m seeing straight past it. And I’m ashamed to say that I miss him and I want to know that he’s ok!!
    I genuinely don’t understand why I feel like this. It just seems to be getting worse ☹️

  • #71971
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    Your trauma bonded to him, your hormones (oxtocyn) is racing around your system. Weve all been there craving the love from someone we know is cruel to us. This is really difficult because all we want is to feel soothed and more settled. Just tell yourself that will come and it does. It takes time and no contact to get there. They say journaling your feelings is a really healthy way to approach this, to cry and to reach out for support xx youll get there 🙂 luv diy mum

  • #71983
     Landy 
    Participant

    Afterhim, i feel exactly the same 🙁 But what would change for us by having them back? Nothing.i keep telling myself my statement is for anyone who comes after me. Because he won’t stop and I wouldn’t forgive myself if ever I read in the paper that he’d hurt someone else.

  • #71984
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Well said Landy. I got him arrested and convicted. I bet he thinks twice now. I have no regrets. That’s my gift to other women x

  • #72064
     afterhim 
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind messages and support. Ive just struggled to come to terms with everything lately. The mornings are always the worst I think!

  • #72065
     KIP. 
    Participant

    What you’re feeling is perfectly normal. If you can stay zero contact the FOG of abuse will slowly clear. The Fear Obligation and Guilt. Nighttime was terrible for me and also the weekend. Now I love my weekends. I can relax and do what I like. Things will slowly improve and you will find the confidence you had before he eroded it all. He’s not your responsibility. Get yourself safe and healthy. Be very kind to yourself. Take baby steps.

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